For a while, I thought I was obsessed with Anger management ( Overcoming Resentment and Other Negative Feelings: Part 2 and Part 1). Do human beings really need to do something about their violent behavior ?
The statistics gravely say : Yes.
These are the approximate figures of the death toll because of wars and anthropogenic (man made) disasters in human history:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_wars_and_anthropogenic_disasters_by_death_toll
That is, humans have killed approximately 4-5 billion from their own race. The actual figure will be much higher, if we consider individual crimes.
People kill for pride, vengeance, racial and religious bigotry. The modern world has invented newer reasons devoid of emotion: profit. Yes, wars mean profit for the arms dealers. The more wars, the merrier they are.
In this world, one has to be extra careful about maintaining one's emotional balance. The sole reason for this malady of the world is that it has mistaken the goal of human existence. It thinks life is only for enjoying more and more pleasures, for accumulating more and more wealth. This is a fallacy. We are still running after the same pleasures that we sought decades ago-in the vain hope that the next experience will quench our thirst. At best, pleasure experiences can have but one benefit: they can teach us about their own emptiness.
The spiritual masters and scriptures have declared the true purpose of human life: to know Oneself.
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Showing posts with label Handling Emotions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Handling Emotions. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Befriending your feelings
We live in an era of repressed feelings. We are taught that our feelings are not ok, from child hood, so we are afraid of expressing our feelings freely. The child expresses itself without fear, without reservation; that is why it is attractive.
The first step in asserting your right to be an individual is to be comfortable with your feelings. We need to recognize and accept that it is ok to be angry, that we have a right to be angry. In fact, we need to honor our emotions. I do not remember where I read that, but that is a very important point.
When we learn to accept our feelings as normal, we come to accept our worth as individuals, as unique beings. Unique does not become just another word. We recognize our uniqueness as the uniqueness of a diamond.
When you feel intensely negative feelings building up inside, do not try to stifle them; instead, keep asking yourself: Why do I feel this way? Again and again. It will be useful to write down the question many times. The subconscious may reveal the answer at an appropriate time. But, as you keep questioning yourself without being critical or angry with yourself, you will feel the pressure of the negativity gradually melt away.
This is not a panacea, not a one-time-solution. You have to work at it day after day, may be a minute at a time, or as much as you are comfortable with. It can bring out latent talents you never thought you had, it can transform you into a more peaceful person. When we are comfortable with ourselves, we can be comfortable with others.
The first step in asserting your right to be an individual is to be comfortable with your feelings. We need to recognize and accept that it is ok to be angry, that we have a right to be angry. In fact, we need to honor our emotions. I do not remember where I read that, but that is a very important point.
When we learn to accept our feelings as normal, we come to accept our worth as individuals, as unique beings. Unique does not become just another word. We recognize our uniqueness as the uniqueness of a diamond.
When you feel intensely negative feelings building up inside, do not try to stifle them; instead, keep asking yourself: Why do I feel this way? Again and again. It will be useful to write down the question many times. The subconscious may reveal the answer at an appropriate time. But, as you keep questioning yourself without being critical or angry with yourself, you will feel the pressure of the negativity gradually melt away.
This is not a panacea, not a one-time-solution. You have to work at it day after day, may be a minute at a time, or as much as you are comfortable with. It can bring out latent talents you never thought you had, it can transform you into a more peaceful person. When we are comfortable with ourselves, we can be comfortable with others.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Give Yourself Non-critical, Non-judgmental Listening
The title could well be Why do you get angry ? As yet, we do not know really the answer to that, but we can do something about it.
Each of your movements, the varying speed of your breaths, the tension in each part of your body, has significance. It requires you to be aware to realize their presence. For example, we need to be aware of the batting of our eyelids. It is not a grabbing of the events in our mind and body, to be aware of them. It is just letting the attention drift over them. Many events occur in our body-mind complex every second. We possibly cannot be aware of them all, in our present state. But our attention will flit from one of them o the other. Be aware of where your attention is at the moment. It can only be on one thing in a given instance.
If you study body language, you will have some idea of the emotions associated with each part of the body.
Coming back to non-critical listening and its healing power, recall the time when you were with a person who really was non-critical, non-judgmental. It might have been a doctor, and elder, a teacher or a friend. Remember how relaxing and reassuring was their listening. You felt totally accepted.
You can give that listening to yourself. You need to realize the importance of the events in you. Each movement, each breath, each emotion, each tension, each thought…Do not be alarmed if negative emotions surface. Just make a mental note of their presence. A Zen master said: Your feelings, your breath, your movements…are your treasures. You need to be aware of them.
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Want to hire me to write for your blog or online publication? You can find my contact details here: About me
Each of your movements, the varying speed of your breaths, the tension in each part of your body, has significance. It requires you to be aware to realize their presence. For example, we need to be aware of the batting of our eyelids. It is not a grabbing of the events in our mind and body, to be aware of them. It is just letting the attention drift over them. Many events occur in our body-mind complex every second. We possibly cannot be aware of them all, in our present state. But our attention will flit from one of them o the other. Be aware of where your attention is at the moment. It can only be on one thing in a given instance.
If you study body language, you will have some idea of the emotions associated with each part of the body.
Coming back to non-critical listening and its healing power, recall the time when you were with a person who really was non-critical, non-judgmental. It might have been a doctor, and elder, a teacher or a friend. Remember how relaxing and reassuring was their listening. You felt totally accepted.
You can give that listening to yourself. You need to realize the importance of the events in you. Each movement, each breath, each emotion, each tension, each thought…Do not be alarmed if negative emotions surface. Just make a mental note of their presence. A Zen master said: Your feelings, your breath, your movements…are your treasures. You need to be aware of them.
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Want to hire me to write for your blog or online publication? You can find my contact details here: About me
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