Communication Challenge: How to Empower Children Against Abuse

One of the challenges of professional communicators like instructional designers and technical writers is, adapting their message to the level of the audience, the readers. It is even more daunting when the message is sensitive and complex and the audience consists of little children. Borderlines are blurred and still we need to get the message across clearly.

I found the following instructional ad addressed this challenge in an innovative way. It uses the method of "minimum words", with simple, yet powerful pictures.

Source :http://www.childsexualabuseinindia.blogspot.com/2011/11/secrets-about-touching-need-to-be-told.html
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God And Negative Thoughts

However great the successes people achieve, there are times when they are mired down in negative thoughts. It can be because of domestic issues or personal relationships. It can be very trivial issues that hit a raw spot at a vulnerable moment.

What about the ones who are not successful ? They wallow in negativity- day in and day out-blaming parents, neighbors, colleagues, their children, the Government, and of course, God.

I have had my own share of this negative patch, which was very intense in the beginning. Now, I am getting better, thanks to repetitive positive self-talks, fairly regular Meditation, Yoga, and keeping myself busy.

In the nadir of our negative patch, we are at war with the world, with God, and with ourselves. The train of negative thoughts increases in speed. We may seek some relief by external diversions-cinema, food, alcohol, sex, drugs. When it goes too far, and if we never try to look within ourselves for the reason, it can hit the deepest trough-suicide.

Where does God come in all this? Why doesn't He (or She) lift a finger to rescue us hapless beings from our misery? Why does he allow mass massacres in Cambodia, wars all over the world, genocides in Bosnia, tsunamis in Asia, torture, starvation deaths in Eritrea and Somalia?

I haven't yet received an authentic response from God for this question, but I've concluded that God has nothing to do with this: it is all about ourselves.

Yes, taking the responsibility squarely on our own shoulders is the best option. I alone am responsible for whatever I am now. Buddha said: We are what we think. What we are now is what we have thought. What we will be is what we are thinking NOW.
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The Truth About Dale Carnegie

Like most self help fans, I too had been an ardent follower of Dale Carnegie. His "Stop worrying, start living", " How to win friends and influence people", and other works were the primary inspiration in personal development for me.

So, it came as a rude shock when a friend told me that Dale Carnegie had committed suicide. A shock that left a wound in my teenage faith.

Those were the days prior to the Internet and I never got to verify the truth. Today, I finally found it on Wikipedia: Dale Carnegie died of Hodgkin's disease, complicated with uremia, on November 1, 1955.

Still curious as to the origin of the rumor, I found the answer on Yahoo Answers (please see link below):

Another author by the name of Irving Tressler wrote “How to Lose Friends and Alienate People” as a satirical parody of Dale's classic " How to win friends and influence people". Tressler later committed suicide. Sadly, it was attributed to Dale Carnegie also, probably by a mischief maker, him being more famous.

Justice prevails, doesn't it?


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Sources: 

http://www.thoughtclusters.com/2007/01/dale-carnegies-death/

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080516111228AAbjy7g

http://mrontemp.blogspot.com/2008/07/strange-case-of-irving-dart-tressler.html

Is the fear of failure sabotaging your attempts at personal transformation? Find out: How to overcome the fear of failure

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Meditation To Calm Wall Street Jitters

Liked this talk for its simplicity. Rasanath Das, the Wall Street investment banker turned monk speaks on being true to yourself, as a balm for work life anxiety.


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An Example of Being in The Present

This story is about detachment, about living in the moment. It is convenient to attach to and detach from situations as our need. Being always attached to anything, always carrying it in the mind is a handicap- a dependency.

Two Zen monks were on a pilgrimage. On the way, they came upon a rapid stream. They were about to wade through when they saw a beautiful woman in distress, by the bank of the stream. One of the monks went up to her and enquired about her problem.

She wanted to cross the stream to go to her village. But she was too afraid to step into the rapid waters and the slippery rocks. 

"Is that all?" He said, "I'll carry you across."

And he lifted the woman on to his shoulders, and waded across the stream.

The other monk, who had listened to this exchange stood dumb, looking on at the duo. After a while, he too crossed the stream.

The woman thanked the monk and went on her way.

The monks completed the rest of the day's walk in silence, without the philosophical chat they used to have on long treks.

In the evening, they reached a village, and stopped to rest there.

"I just can’t believe what you did today!" the second monk finally blurted to his companion.

"About what?" asked the monk who had helped the lady.

"You have broken the sacred vows-we monks are not supposed to even look at women or speak to them. You spoke to her, and even touched her! Sacrilegious!" the rant continued.

"Oh, her! My friend, I left her at the stream. But you're still carrying her!"

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Wouldn't it be nice for you to have a collection of Zen stories on paper back at your bed side ? Paul Reps' Zen Flesh, Zen Bones, has a large collection of Zen stories classified under various desirable qualities. A really good read. To order, click the following image:

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I Believe

Magnificent video, originally made by BBC One - Planet Earth :
http://www.andiesisle.com/creation/magnificent.html
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Hope For The Suicide-Prone: Perspectives From The Other Side

It may be difficult to find individuals who have not contemplated suicide at some point in their lives.
Suicide is not an easy, forever escape from the problems of life. At least that is what documented studies of suicide NDEs (Near Death Experiences) report.
This the true story of a woman who was so disgusted with life that she tried to put an end to it-- not once but two times-on successive days:
http://www.near-death.com/experiences/suicide03.html
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The Power of One

Do you have such a lot of ideas and goals that you find it hard to manage them all? This article could be of use to you in that case. It is for people who have too many plans on hand that they are left confused, not finishing any thing.

I collect books of all sorts-from Self help to Massage therapy, Yoga to Software development. And it has happened many times that I did not complete the ones I bought before buying the next one. Perhaps it is a disorder or a bad habit-finding release in shopping for books- Biblioholism?

Those entrepreneurs who ambitiously aim for a number of goals at the same time, find that it drains their energy. It discourages, for they can't see any measurable results, as they are firing off in all directions-writing books, developing software, learning languages, starting charities...

Harnessing the Power of One can help us overcome this roadblock and set us moving forward once again.

So what is the Power of One here?

• You unleash the Power of One when you take only one thing off your task list at a time.
• No matter how many other tasks you have, focus only on the one task at hand.
• The Power of One is a natural outcome of practicing being in the Here and Now.

For example, if you are on the phone with your partner at 3:00 and you have a sales presentation at 4:00, you'd have a nice time if you just forget the presentation while talking on the phone. And when you hang up, what next? Switch off the conversation from the mind as well, and focus on the presentation.

"Banal, and I already know that", could be your reaction. However, few people actually try to focus on one thing at a time. Otherwise, we wouldn't have so many road fatalities. Studies show that using mobile phones while driving greatly increases the risk of accidents. See this. And this. The second article is about plane crashes happening because pilots tried to combine flying with drinking.

So, welcome the Power of One into your life, to lead a safer, saner, and successful life. One at a time.

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Happiness Metaphors

We all do things for a common reason: happiness.

Perhaps we do not realize it: Nobody does actions that (he/she believes) bring unhappiness to them. Paradoxically though, most people stumble through life not knowing why they're doing something in the first place: it's for happiness. Whether its sex, eating out, reading, having a conversation, holding a job, building a house,...down to the minutest actions like scratching an itch and blinking--all are for attaining happiness.

Happiness may not be the right word that you prefer: perhaps it is satisfaction, fulfillment, joy, or bliss...

But what are the results we are getting? Are we searching in the right place ? Are we getting the final beatitude -the ONE experience that ends our endless quest?

Consider: we set out on our sensual pursuits-again and again. Each time we have a vague notion: this is it. I'm going to do my favorite thing now. And I will be happy-forever. Or I am going to have a relationship with that wonderful person and my life is going to bloom into bliss-forever.

The growing rate of marriage failures and re-marriages illustrate the above fact. My last partner was not the right one for me, so it did not work out. Let me find the right one, and it will be perfect, for ever after.

Are we missing something here? We'll try to see in the coming paras.

I'd like to share with you some anecdotes that point out mankind's (elusive) search for happiness.
These stories come from all over the world: the Indian subcontinent, the middle-east, the far east, and the west and the far west. They are also from different religious paths: Hindu, Buddhist, Judaism, Christian, Islam, ...
These stories and examples  illustrate why our actions do not yield the happiness that we crave- and offer a hint as to where we need to look.

The first example is about an old lady who has lost her sewing needle and is searching for it. It appears in the Mullah Nasrudin stories.

Looking in the right place?
An old lady was busy searching for something under the street lamp at a junction. A bystander got curious, and asked her what she was looking for. She replied she had lost her sewing needle at home.

"But then why are you searching here? You should be looking for it at your home." he asked.
"That's fine. But there is no lamp there and its dark. So I am searching here".

The next one is famous. It is about how travellers are deceived by the mirage in the deserts.

Seemingly so, but not really
When travelers in the desert run out of water, they become desperate and frantically search for it. They may see mirages and mistake them for water. The hot desert air produces mirages. (You can see mirages on a hot day on a tarred road too). The mirage is the hot air's reflection in the distance which gives the appearance of rippling water. Not realizing this, the travellers go after it,... of course they will never reach it.

Just like this, man pursues sense pleasures in the hope that they will give lasting happiness. If only we looked within our minds, we would find it.

The promise of lasting joy draws people forward on the path of sense-enjoyment
A donkey pulls a cart. The driver uses a trick to get the donkey moving, without using a whip.
He sits in the cart, ties a carrot to a long stick, and holds it in front of the donkey. The donkey moves forward, trying to get the dangling carrot. As he moves forward, he pulls the cart and the driver forward, along with the carrot. However much he tries the donkey cannot get the carrot.

Isn't humanity repeating the same actions forever, hoping to get  happiness out of them?

Searching for Joy, but in the wrong place again
This one is based on another animal, the Musk deer. The Musk deer exudes the fragrance of musk. The musk fragrance is extracted from its glandular secretions (I realized this just now, from a Wikipedia search. Till then I had thought this was another folk tale.)
The animal does not however, realize this fact. It is enchanted by the fragrance and goes around in search of its origin. Alas, if it had only looked at itself, it could realize this fact, and stop the wandering.

Isn't this story pointing at us humans who search all over the world for happiness, which is actually within us?
Would you like to see how choices affect our happiness? It is here: The Choice Quandary
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The Neurology of Awakening

I found this slide show by Rick Hanson on slideshare.net. It starts with an analysis of thought, lists out the prerequisites of meditation, and nicely tells how to go about it. There are also research findings on meditation, if you're interested. However, if you need just to know about practice, you can skip those slides


The Neurology of Awakening: Using the New Brain Research to Steady Your Mind
http://www.slideshare.net/drrickhanson/the-neurology-of-awakening-using-the-new-brain-research-to-steady-your-mind


Rick Hanson, Ph.D., is a neuropsychologist and author of Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom  and Just One Thing: Developing a Buddha Brain One Simple Practice at a Time. Founder of the Wellspring Institute for Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom and Affiliate of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, he’s taught at Oxford, Stanford, and Harvard, and in meditation centers worldwide. His blog – Just One Thing – has nearly 30,000 subscribers.

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Your Twin Wings to Success

Dream vision and baby steps-your twin wings to success


Lets look at two critical items most people need to reach success. We will call them as Dream vision and Baby steps. Self-help authors call them by different names- however, you get the idea: broadly, it is making use of (1) the conscious mind (baby steps) and (2) the unconscious mind (dream vision).

Unfortunately, most self-help systems emphasize only one of them-using the unconscious mind. Some people tend to expect miracles just by feeding some suggestions or affirmations into their subconscious mind. This does work-at a fast pace for prepared minds and for others, at a slower pace. We will see how both methods are essential to manifesting your ideal life.

Dream vision

This is actually the end goal that you want to reach: a magnificent career, a desired amount of money, owning a magnificent mansion or other possessions, getting the desired life partner etc. It is contrary to daily goals, it must be huge that is something people say the stuff dreams are made of.

Dream visions give spring to our steps, put energy into our efforts. They give us joy while beholding the promise even though it may be in the distant future. Athletes, artists, and entrepreneurs derive energy from periodically visualizing their dream goals. It makes our daily chores interesting, and inspire us to persist.

In short, having a long term dream vision:

• Generates ideas from the subconscious
• Helps notice opportunities conducive to our goals
• Inspires while performing routine tasks
• Energizes us when we feel worn out

This is not necessarily a long term one; in fact your dream goals may manifest in a short period of time, if you have mastered the flow of thoughts in your mind. Now mastering the flow of thoughts to turn them in your desired direction at will, requires commitment and consistent practice. If you are already able to do that, you probably acquired it earlier. For the rest of us, that is the majority; it is an eye opener to discover the state of our own self-mastery. We realize who is the real master: we or our minds?

How to generate and feed your long term dreams
People generally use one or more of these exercises:

• Affirmations (writing and saying)
• Visualization
• Auto suggestion
• Using a vision board

Besides these, there are many more exercises that you can find on the Internet. Just google.

The Secret (Movie and book) elaborates on the subconscious aspect of manifesting your ideal life.

Waiting for Dreams to become real

However, dream goals may not manifest overnight. Expecting that can lead to frustration. So how do we carry our day to day life activities?

It is helpful to break down our long term dream visions into small, achievable daily chunks that you are sure to reach. For instance, if I were to achieve a high level of expertise in a foreign language so as to be an instructor, it might seem a far-off goal. However, if I memorize a few words/ grammar rules daily, I will be sure of achieving it, through repeated efforts. This also gives me the satisfaction of having achieved something. It is a baby step that I take towards my dream goal.

Baby steps are the actual conscious steps to reach your dream
You can say these are the solid steps that you take on a daily basis towards your dream. Thus, if you aspire to be a writer, five minutes of grammar review everyday would be one of the baby steps towards that goal. One needs to identify the skill sets required to reach a goal and spend some time every day developing them.

Baby steps help us be not overwhelmed by the enormity of the dream. To think of how to be a best-selling author may be bewildering. It may be disheartening to discover how your current performance bears in relation to your goal. At the same time, following a small step at a time enables to build confidence, establish a habit and a liking for the path, and keeps us centered. Another important benefit is that you will be better able to receive hints from the subconscious that will speed you up towards the final goal.


If  you are not sure of what steps to take, start with the first part (Affirmations/Visualizations/...)-the subconscious will reveal to you what to do.
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What the Bleep do We Know ?

This movie can change the way you look at yourself and your world. The visuals really take off from 3:38 onwards. Its a bit archaic till then.
For an introduction, see :http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/what-the-bleep-do-we-know/



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