How to become Popular.

“Welcome all who come to you.
Prevent none who leave you.”

This is a fine rule to follow when it comes to relationships, business, and friends…Any aspect of our life which involves people. You may have old friends leave you on reasons known only to them; you may have clients leave you for no specific reason…
Why worry?

This is not to say that we should be indifferent or arrogant to others. We need not be overly concerned (obsessed) about their liking us. Let them make their choice in their sweet time. We know our worth. Politicians who intend to cling to their chairs will have a hard time digesting this. But they need it, in order to remain sane. The chair will be wrenched away. It is just a matter of time.

The essence of this message is condensed in these Sanskrit verses:

"Aagatam Swagatam Kuryat
Gacchantam na nivarayet"
(the meaning is given at the top of this post)

When you are not bothered about how people perceive you, you are relaxed. When you are relaxed, you smile more. You are able to perceive other’s needs and feelings better. When people find somebody who is pleasant and responsive, they will naturally be attracted to him/her.

Shortcut to be Popular: Don’t desire to be Popular!

The Healer as well as the....killer

The mind heals when it likes itself.

The mind heals when it focusses.

The mind heals when it visualises wholesomely.

The mind heals when it is active constructively.

The mind heals when it thinks positively.

The mind heals when it relaxes.

The same mind destroys when it does not like itself.

wobbles, out of focus.

when it is inactive and lazy.

when it thinks negatively.

How absurd....but how True!

The thirst to be loved

Most of us have had a hard time adjusting to the demands and fluctuations of our spouses.Sometimes, they just seem unreasonable.We find it difficult to think calmy and level headed, and would like to retaliate,just to get even.

Often we ignore the prompting from within and act rashly.And we regret.Small differences of opinion escalate into arguments, quarrels and conflicts.All because we did not pause to listen.To our own inner guide.Does not that still small voice inside you tell you to wait?

It is hard not to retaliate when you are hurt by cruel words.We are surrounded by such a world. A retaliatory world.The governments, the judiciaries and the entire world acts out their hatred of evil by hating it more, by punishing it.The Gandhis,the Martin luther kings and the Mother Teresas did their best.Perhaps their efforts have not gone to waste.The fact that sane voices still remain here, proves it.

Gandhi used to say:If all of us lived by the rule an eye for an eye, we would all soon be blind.

In the middle of an argument, when you are getting excited, please wait.If you will wait a few minutes, or if possible, a few hours before reacting on impulse, it will be something that you will be glad that you did.

Deep, slow breathing helps to quieten emotions.Counting the breaths and holding to a small count(say 4 or 6) is effective in calming the mind.Do not overdo it.A few rounds will be enough.

Deep within, we are all children who lost the oasis of unconditional love somewhere in our early childhood.Some of us may never have known such an oasis exists.

Remember, your spouse is also a lost child like yourself.He/She is probably expressing a longing for unconditional love from deep within.Try to awaken that feeling of love and consideration inside of yourself, and give love, without expecting. See what happens !

The value of mistakes

The freedom to make mistakes is the fundamental right of human beings. We have to make mistakes in order to learn anything. Without making mistakes we cannot learn anything.

Parents insist their children should be perfect in everything. My child should be the first in everything. He/She should get it right the first time.
Needless to say, the child soon grows disillusioned with himself as he keeps on hearing the criticism. Do you not agree? Just listen to your own internal dialogue as you do things, interact with people and children. Most people are scared of attempting new things, acquiring new skills because they are afraid of this disapproving monster inside them. It does not leave them in peace for a moment.

I recently attempted to learn typing. Each time I made a mistake, I could hear my own mind screaming: “You idiot! Can’t you do a thing as simple as this right?” It would never quit. It seemed determined to deride me at each and every step. And this, after years of repeating self-talk.

I did not give up. Each time I heard myself talking nastily to myself, I reassured myself: “It’s OK to be not perfect. It is good to make mistakes. Just go on. Does not matter when you finish it”

I am slowly learning it. I am contented with my tardy learning speed. I am happy that I am making mistakes. My target is to make at least a hundred mistakes a day.