On the Slow dance

Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round
Or listened to the rain
lapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last.

Do you run through each day on the fly?
When you ask "How are you?"
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done,
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last.

Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow
And in your haste, not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
'Cause you never had time
To call and say "Hi"?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last.
When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away...
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.

David L. Weatherford

This is an afterthought on the poem given above, ”the Slow dance” by David L. Weatherford.
Along with many other things that resemble or follow their own rhythm or nature’s rhythm, are the wisps of smoke wafting up from an incense stick, flowing water in a stream, the gliding eagles, the floating clouds, the willowy palm fronds and the blades of grass that sway with the wind, the frolicking calf, playing children, the breeze that sighs in the woods and caresses us, the rising sun and stars- all these have no set rhythm or pattern to adhere to- hence they are delightful and liberating to watch.
Do they have a goal ? Does'nt seem like they have-yet they convey immense joy to persons who behold them;some of them are also the sources of life to living organisms. What beauty! What are our million and billions worth before these specters?

How to become Popular.

“Welcome all who come to you.
Prevent none who leave you.”

This is a fine rule to follow when it comes to relationships, business, and friends…Any aspect of our life which involves people. You may have old friends leave you on reasons known only to them; you may have clients leave you for no specific reason…
Why worry?

This is not to say that we should be indifferent or arrogant to others. We need not be overly concerned (obsessed) about their liking us. Let them make their choice in their sweet time. We know our worth. Politicians who intend to cling to their chairs will have a hard time digesting this. But they need it, in order to remain sane. The chair will be wrenched away. It is just a matter of time.

The essence of this message is condensed in these Sanskrit verses:

"Aagatam Swagatam Kuryat
Gacchantam na nivarayet"
(the meaning is given at the top of this post)

When you are not bothered about how people perceive you, you are relaxed. When you are relaxed, you smile more. You are able to perceive other’s needs and feelings better. When people find somebody who is pleasant and responsive, they will naturally be attracted to him/her.

Shortcut to be Popular: Don’t desire to be Popular!

The value of mistakes

The freedom to make mistakes is the fundamental right of human beings. We have to make mistakes in order to learn anything. Without making mistakes we cannot learn anything.

Parents insist their children should be perfect in everything. My child should be the first in everything. He/She should get it right the first time.
Needless to say, the child soon grows disillusioned with himself as he keeps on hearing the criticism. Do you not agree? Just listen to your own internal dialogue as you do things, interact with people and children. Most people are scared of attempting new things, acquiring new skills because they are afraid of this disapproving monster inside them. It does not leave them in peace for a moment.

I recently attempted to learn typing. Each time I made a mistake, I could hear my own mind screaming: “You idiot! Can’t you do a thing as simple as this right?” It would never quit. It seemed determined to deride me at each and every step. And this, after years of repeating self-talk.

I did not give up. Each time I heard myself talking nastily to myself, I reassured myself: “It’s OK to be not perfect. It is good to make mistakes. Just go on. Does not matter when you finish it”

I am slowly learning it. I am contented with my tardy learning speed. I am happy that I am making mistakes. My target is to make at least a hundred mistakes a day.

The Smile

A story is told to illustrate being in the present moment.

It is about the time when The Buddha was conducting discourses with his disciples.He was seated in a mangrove with about a thousand disciples. Ananda was among them. Buddha was talking about the ephemeral nature of the world and that the only way to derive joy while being alive was to be here now.He talked at length and at the end he wanted to see if they had got his message correctly.

In front of the Buddha, there was a flower vase with a bunch of fresh lilies placed in it. He lifted one lily out of it and held it up, so that all could see.

There was a hushed silence all round the assembly.Everybody was wondering what he meant by that gesture.

Ananda the monk smiled.He smiled when he saw the flower.

The Buddha was happy that Ananda had understood and experienced the truth of his message.He experienced it when he saw the flower in Buddha's hand.He saw only the flower.There was nothing else in his mind at that moment.He could experience the flower's beauty with his whole being.

The Head or the heart?

We have a saying in Kerala: when the head is still there, the tail need not rule. The head is place highest on the human body. Every other organ – hands, heart, legs and genitals are below the head. Does this indicate a superiority of the head over the other organs?

Normally we have the higher authority seated at a higher level than his subordinates. If you follow any office seating hierarchy (take, a court for example).The judge is the supreme authority. He is seated at the highest level. The Indian parliament may be the only office where the ruling speaker is seated at a lower level. (Does this explain the unruly scenes that we have in parliaments?)

Apart from these considerations of higher placement, let us see what will happen if the other organs are allowed to indulge as they like, without giving due thought? Obviously, when a man has too many drinks, his intellect is warning him: do not drink. You have to drive. If he doesn’t listen and goes on drinking, he is exposed to a greater danger of a car crash. The reflexes will not be fast enough.

This applies to every other action. Our actions have to be guided by our intellect. This is particularly true so in interpersonal relations. We may have conflicts in our relations. If we react at the level of the heart, that is, just emotionally, we are likely to get caught up in a mess. It soon becomes a retaliatory game. A no-win situation. We need to stand apart, view the situation from an outsider’s perspective, suspending judgment or knee jerk reactions. Then we have more choices. This has to be patiently cultivated.

But sometimes, we do need to rely on the heart. It is to sense the intuition that we need in many situations. Falling in love, for instance. After knowing the person, for a long time. if we keep on analyzing him/her, we will ends up being frustrated, not being able to make a choice.

One is tempted to say it is not a matter of the head or the heart. It is a matter of functioning as a whole person. A balanced person, centered within. This comes about through relaxation and an acquired faith in oneself, in one’s own goodness. Previous articles have covered how we came to disbelieve our goodness.

We will soon discuss how Yoga explains the inter play of emotions and intellect.

Laughing in Gaza

Is there something to laugh in the Gaza border ? Could you, when the missiles and bullets fly around you ?

Well,that's exactly what this young lady is up to. Judith Bar-hay Kovatch (see picture) holds laughter sessions for groups of people, enabling them to laugh their hearts out. For no reason whatsoever. They all agree that it releases their tensions and fears of existence, enabling to look at life as an opportunity, rather than as a burden.

If you haven't guessed already, this is Laughter yoga, founded by Dr.Madan Kataria from Mumbai. Obviously Dr.Kataria had to bear much ridicule before he could spread word about his Laughter Yoga around. Our logical minds seek a reason for anything: even laughter.

Well, it is this notion that Laughter Yoga dissolves-for good. In the frenetic rush of the modern day world, man forgets to stand back and enjoy life in a lighter vein. Laughter Yoga enables him to laugh himself/herself out of this deathly trap.

Laughter enables us to be here now, enjoying life; laughter gives energy and inspiration to heal negativities and inner wounds. It makes humans sane in an insane world. Relaxed people respond calmly and shun violence. It is a viable solution to reduce crimes like road rage.

For more information, check Here

Waking up to a lovely dawn

We may have suffered countless indignities in the past. They may all be causing hurt inside us. The emotional wounds that we had suffered in our innocent childhood may have created ugly scars in our psyche that may be preventing us from embracing and enjoying life in its fullness now.

We may be ruminating over yesterdays' bad unpleasant events and carrying resentments into our heart, ruining our own day.

After spending countless money on therapists, counselors, Gurus, books and medicines, we still may be feeling we have not had any significant recovery or transformation.

But there is a way. And it is cheap; it does not cost a penny. You do not have to enroll in any online course, give your credit card details, or fill out countless questionnaires.

The secret is, here...

It is,

This, This, This, This... a zillion times This.

Enjoy your surfing.

The role of thoughts in shaping our destiny

One cannot over stress the effect of internal dialogue (also called unconscious self talk, thoughts etc) while discussing success, in any field. The age old habit of the mind to hang on to something, the inability to let go and stand by itself, is the root cause of this internal dialogue. (I am talking about unconscious self talk- that which we are not aware that we are thinking)

Right now, take a break and listen to yourself: what is going on inside your mind now? What are the thoughts rushing through your brain? Are there any feelings? Boredom? Become aware. From time to time, take a break and be aware of what is going on inside you, NOW. This can also be the key to overcoming addictions.

If you are like most people, you will find the thoughts rage on within each of us, all the time. Millions of thoughts pass through our minds everyday.Most of the time they are like an undercurrent, like if you are trying to catch a running bus, your mind might say: Will I get it? No, I will not get it. There. It is gone. Damn! Missed again! And we feel bad about it and about ourselves. This is natural, because we will feel good about ourselves only if we tell ourselves good things.

One reason we have been thinking this way is because we have been taught to think like that from childhood. For those who believe in rebirths, it’s been done for ages. Our entertainment media constantly presents us with set routines for reacting to situations. Thus, to resolve a difference of opinion, a fight is the only solution. We are caught in this trap. Wars start because of this set reaction.
To escape the cycle of repeated routine reactions to situations, one has to practice awareness- awareness of everything: thoughts, breathe, sensations, feelings, movements.

Suggested reading: What to say when you talk to yourself
Developing your personal power

Yoga: a Panacea

Those who regularly practise Yoga can experience a gradual spreading of calmness. This is first experienced during the practice sessions. Gradually it spreads to the remaining parts of the day.

But one issue that most yoga practitioners would have faced is that of maintaining the calm of Yoga in the midst of workday pressures. How to stay calm and centered while that colleague is carping at you, spreading tales about you behind your back.

This is a real life situation most of us have had to face at one time or other.

It would be better to stop pretending to be an accomplished yogi who is having samadhi every time he meditates. We are all human. We have passed through countless lives before, and their residue is left in our minds in the form of impressions. When the apt situations crop up, they may rise like the sphinx.

This kind of vexing situation is known only to the serious practitioner. He who has been keeping at it for years. He may have had a few transcendental experiences, but when the ego is provoked in real life, the hot sweaty life of jealousy and rat race amidst the corporate jungle, he may forget everything and there goes ack!ack!ack!

Nothing to worry. We have to cultivate awareness. Awareness of our thoughts, feelings, actions. Here the Vipassana group has done excellent work by focusing on the awareness aspect of meditation.

We start with awareness of our bodily movements when we sit to meditate-the twitching of muscles, the ache in the knee, the blinking of the eyelids and the breath going in and out, ...

Then the feelings that arise---the anger, the fear, the lust,
Just being aware of them as they arise...not trying to control them...Trying to control thoughts would be like not trying to think of monkeys (which could end up to be a meditation on monkeys!)

We just let them be...give them space....AND WE LOVE OURSELVES...Accept OURSELVES for what we are now.Here.

Our failures don’t matter...our shortcomings don’t matter...It doesn’t matter who we are and what we have done so far...We simply accept ourselves…

Particularly useful is it to repeat to yourself :I ACCEPT MYSELF. I APPROVE OF MYSELF. Over and over…

Note: (Louise.L.Hay’s books are a great source of guidance for healing your mind and body.)