Talking in the Right Way to Yourself

Hi All,

Ever felt desperate about the kind of self-development course or book that really delivers ? Most of us will have.

Well I too thought so until I read Dr.Shad Helmstetter's "What to say when you talk to yourself".

This book has the works.It feels a bit tedous as you mumble the self-talk given in the book, day in day out.It is grinding work, despairing sometimes, but I tell you, it is effective !

What he calls as self-talk is almost the same as affirmations.But he has explained it so covincingly that you immediately will want to try it out. Just keep at it, and you will be amazed at the results !

Another significant book on self talk is "Developing your Personal Power"

The Pleasures of Self-Discipline

In Kerala there is a type of ayurvedic medicine called Kashayam. It is very bitter. People used to sweet and dainty dishes will have a hard time stomaching this medicine. It has even become a kind of proverb to say “it is bitter- like kashayam”.
Certain kashayams have the effect of purifying your blood.

Discipline and any action aimed at improving our living conditions seem to be like drinking the bitter kashaya. You would rather relish the sweetness of languor.
Say for instance, you want to build up a muscular body. You have to work out a program of regular exercise and stick to it, every day. Every day at the same hour, you do the set number of pushups, sit-ups, chin-ups, dumbbells, everything in your prescribed routine. And you take the special diet, protein enriched to add muscles to your frame.

In the first few days, your body will scream, “No!”, as you press it into this unfamiliar regimen. You do not give in. You press on.

Then you break though the layer of resistance and actually start to enjoy the work out session. And slowly, the reward starts manifesting …a muscular body.
It repeats at every attempt you take at improving yourself- be it your handwriting, learning to speak in public, overcoming the fear of rejection in socialization, learning to meditate….

After a few months or so, you start to reap in the rewards: a lean, muscular physique, a neat and tidy handwriting that immediately catches attention, a new found confidence to stand up and deliver your message to groups of people, an ability to enjoy the peace and joy of meditation…

The Bhagavad-Gita also says: “Those pleasures which are bitter like poison in the beginning but later are sweet like nectar are the best…” The Gita calls them Sattvic pleasures…the Pleasures of Discipline.

The role of thoughts in shaping our destiny

One cannot over stress the effect of internal dialogue (also called unconscious self talk, thoughts etc) while discussing success, in any field. The age old habit of the mind to hang on to something, the inability to let go and stand by itself, is the root cause of this internal dialogue. (I am talking about unconscious self talk- that which we are not aware that we are thinking)

Right now, take a break and listen to yourself: what is going on inside your mind now? What are the thoughts rushing through your brain? Are there any feelings? Boredom? Become aware. From time to time, take a break and be aware of what is going on inside you, NOW. This can also be the key to overcoming addictions.

If you are like most people, you will find the thoughts rage on within each of us, all the time. Millions of thoughts pass through our minds everyday.Most of the time they are like an undercurrent, like if you are trying to catch a running bus, your mind might say: Will I get it? No, I will not get it. There. It is gone. Damn! Missed again! And we feel bad about it and about ourselves. This is natural, because we will feel good about ourselves only if we tell ourselves good things.

One reason we have been thinking this way is because we have been taught to think like that from childhood. For those who believe in rebirths, it’s been done for ages. Our entertainment media constantly presents us with set routines for reacting to situations. Thus, to resolve a difference of opinion, a fight is the only solution. We are caught in this trap. Wars start because of this set reaction.
To escape the cycle of repeated routine reactions to situations, one has to practice awareness- awareness of everything: thoughts, breathe, sensations, feelings, movements.

Suggested reading: What to say when you talk to yourself
Developing your personal power