Do you have it in you to delay your pleasures so that you can have a better reward ?
How do kids do on this ?
How do kids do on this ?
Here is the video of a study on kids on this topic. It is both funny and thought provoking:
Showing posts with label Controlling the mind. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Controlling the mind. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 06, 2011
Sunday, April 13, 2008
The Gift of Relaxation: Free music
Here's a piece of excellent music by David M.Pierce. It is a rare treat of relaxation music, the instructions are given in a pleasantly soothing voice that gently lulls you into a state of profound care free state. It is ideal for a pre hypno or pre meditation session, or just to sit back and relax ! Relaxation is a precious free gift that you give yourself, as David says. Good Work,David !
You can visit his site at http://www.dpierce.com/trance/hypnomp3.html.
To listen :The audio will start playing as soon as this page is loaded. Click the Pause button. Wait for a few minutes. Then click the Play button.This will allow you to listen without interruption as the music downloads.Enjoy !
You can visit his site at http://www.dpierce.com/trance/hypnomp3.html.
To listen :The audio will start playing as soon as this page is loaded. Click the Pause button. Wait for a few minutes. Then click the Play button.This will allow you to listen without interruption as the music downloads.Enjoy !
Thursday, June 07, 2007
The thirst to be loved
Most of us have had a hard time adjusting to the demands and fluctuations of our spouses.Sometimes, they just seem unreasonable.We find it difficult to think calmy and level headed, and would like to retaliate,just to get even.
Often we ignore the prompting from within and act rashly.And we regret.Small differences of opinion escalate into arguments, quarrels and conflicts.All because we did not pause to listen.To our own inner guide.Does not that still small voice inside you tell you to wait?
It is hard not to retaliate when you are hurt by cruel words.We are surrounded by such a world. A retaliatory world.The governments, the judiciaries and the entire world acts out their hatred of evil by hating it more, by punishing it.The Gandhis,the Martin luther kings and the Mother Teresas did their best.Perhaps their efforts have not gone to waste.The fact that sane voices still remain here, proves it.
Gandhi used to say:If all of us lived by the rule an eye for an eye, we would all soon be blind.
In the middle of an argument, when you are getting excited, please wait.If you will wait a few minutes, or if possible, a few hours before reacting on impulse, it will be something that you will be glad that you did.
Deep, slow breathing helps to quieten emotions.Counting the breaths and holding to a small count(say 4 or 6) is effective in calming the mind.Do not overdo it.A few rounds will be enough.
Deep within, we are all children who lost the oasis of unconditional love somewhere in our early childhood.Some of us may never have known such an oasis exists.
Remember, your spouse is also a lost child like yourself.He/She is probably expressing a longing for unconditional love from deep within.Try to awaken that feeling of love and consideration inside of yourself, and give love, without expecting. See what happens !
Often we ignore the prompting from within and act rashly.And we regret.Small differences of opinion escalate into arguments, quarrels and conflicts.All because we did not pause to listen.To our own inner guide.Does not that still small voice inside you tell you to wait?
It is hard not to retaliate when you are hurt by cruel words.We are surrounded by such a world. A retaliatory world.The governments, the judiciaries and the entire world acts out their hatred of evil by hating it more, by punishing it.The Gandhis,the Martin luther kings and the Mother Teresas did their best.Perhaps their efforts have not gone to waste.The fact that sane voices still remain here, proves it.
Gandhi used to say:If all of us lived by the rule an eye for an eye, we would all soon be blind.
In the middle of an argument, when you are getting excited, please wait.If you will wait a few minutes, or if possible, a few hours before reacting on impulse, it will be something that you will be glad that you did.
Deep, slow breathing helps to quieten emotions.Counting the breaths and holding to a small count(say 4 or 6) is effective in calming the mind.Do not overdo it.A few rounds will be enough.
Deep within, we are all children who lost the oasis of unconditional love somewhere in our early childhood.Some of us may never have known such an oasis exists.
Remember, your spouse is also a lost child like yourself.He/She is probably expressing a longing for unconditional love from deep within.Try to awaken that feeling of love and consideration inside of yourself, and give love, without expecting. See what happens !
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Autobiography of a Yogi
This book has been selected as one of the 100 most influential books of the 20th Century. It is part of the course in many Universities, including Harvard.
The Author, Paramahansa Yogananda, comes from an illustrious lineage of seers who had their consciousness permanently rooted in the Eternal.
It includes descriptions of many thrilling encounters with death-defying masters and also a first-hand account of the Cosmic Consciousness state, Samadhi, as experienced by the author.
The book edifies and uplifts, and, could very well be a turning point in the reader's life.
Friday, May 25, 2007
The Head or the heart?
We have a saying in Kerala: when the head is still there, the tail need not rule. The head is place highest on the human body. Every other organ – hands, heart, legs and genitals are below the head. Does this indicate a superiority of the head over the other organs?
Normally we have the higher authority seated at a higher level than his subordinates. If you follow any office seating hierarchy (take, a court for example).The judge is the supreme authority. He is seated at the highest level. The Indian parliament may be the only office where the ruling speaker is seated at a lower level. (Does this explain the unruly scenes that we have in parliaments?)
Apart from these considerations of higher placement, let us see what will happen if the other organs are allowed to indulge as they like, without giving due thought? Obviously, when a man has too many drinks, his intellect is warning him: do not drink. You have to drive. If he doesn’t listen and goes on drinking, he is exposed to a greater danger of a car crash. The reflexes will not be fast enough.
This applies to every other action. Our actions have to be guided by our intellect. This is particularly true so in interpersonal relations. We may have conflicts in our relations. If we react at the level of the heart, that is, just emotionally, we are likely to get caught up in a mess. It soon becomes a retaliatory game. A no-win situation. We need to stand apart, view the situation from an outsider’s perspective, suspending judgment or knee jerk reactions. Then we have more choices. This has to be patiently cultivated.
But sometimes, we do need to rely on the heart. It is to sense the intuition that we need in many situations. Falling in love, for instance. After knowing the person, for a long time. if we keep on analyzing him/her, we will ends up being frustrated, not being able to make a choice.
One is tempted to say it is not a matter of the head or the heart. It is a matter of functioning as a whole person. A balanced person, centered within. This comes about through relaxation and an acquired faith in oneself, in one’s own goodness. Previous articles have covered how we came to disbelieve our goodness.
We will soon discuss how Yoga explains the inter play of emotions and intellect.
Normally we have the higher authority seated at a higher level than his subordinates. If you follow any office seating hierarchy (take, a court for example).The judge is the supreme authority. He is seated at the highest level. The Indian parliament may be the only office where the ruling speaker is seated at a lower level. (Does this explain the unruly scenes that we have in parliaments?)
Apart from these considerations of higher placement, let us see what will happen if the other organs are allowed to indulge as they like, without giving due thought? Obviously, when a man has too many drinks, his intellect is warning him: do not drink. You have to drive. If he doesn’t listen and goes on drinking, he is exposed to a greater danger of a car crash. The reflexes will not be fast enough.
This applies to every other action. Our actions have to be guided by our intellect. This is particularly true so in interpersonal relations. We may have conflicts in our relations. If we react at the level of the heart, that is, just emotionally, we are likely to get caught up in a mess. It soon becomes a retaliatory game. A no-win situation. We need to stand apart, view the situation from an outsider’s perspective, suspending judgment or knee jerk reactions. Then we have more choices. This has to be patiently cultivated.
But sometimes, we do need to rely on the heart. It is to sense the intuition that we need in many situations. Falling in love, for instance. After knowing the person, for a long time. if we keep on analyzing him/her, we will ends up being frustrated, not being able to make a choice.
One is tempted to say it is not a matter of the head or the heart. It is a matter of functioning as a whole person. A balanced person, centered within. This comes about through relaxation and an acquired faith in oneself, in one’s own goodness. Previous articles have covered how we came to disbelieve our goodness.
We will soon discuss how Yoga explains the inter play of emotions and intellect.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Heal Yourself-Heal the World
Friends, those of us who read about the mishaps happening around us, did you feel anything more than pity for the victims? Did you want to change the state of affairs in society and the world at large? Many of us may have felt frustrated at our apparent inability to do anything to mitigate these problems.
You need not be despondent. You can do something. In fact, many things. But you can strike a winning note by doing just one thing: Meditate.
Yes, that is right. Studies conducted in the US have shown that the crime rate was significantly lower in those cities, which had regular meditation groups. This was with reference to those cities without any meditation groups. Such cities had higher crime rates. This was based on a study conducted on TM meditation groups.
Please note, I am not trying to promote any religion or school of meditation. The end of meditation remains the same, in whichever way you do it: Reduction of thoughts. This leads to peace within. And when there is peace within you, it spills over into your surroundings also. Your responses become more thoughtful, you have more space for yourself, your companions notice your peaceful countenance, an aura of peace surrounds you. You become relaxed. A relaxed and happy face makes others also relaxed.
You need not be despondent. You can do something. In fact, many things. But you can strike a winning note by doing just one thing: Meditate.
Yes, that is right. Studies conducted in the US have shown that the crime rate was significantly lower in those cities, which had regular meditation groups. This was with reference to those cities without any meditation groups. Such cities had higher crime rates. This was based on a study conducted on TM meditation groups.
Please note, I am not trying to promote any religion or school of meditation. The end of meditation remains the same, in whichever way you do it: Reduction of thoughts. This leads to peace within. And when there is peace within you, it spills over into your surroundings also. Your responses become more thoughtful, you have more space for yourself, your companions notice your peaceful countenance, an aura of peace surrounds you. You become relaxed. A relaxed and happy face makes others also relaxed.
Wake up, before it's too late !
Read an appalling story about a mentally undeveloped girl being brutalised by 14 boys in Australia.Read it Here .The boys behaved as if the victim(the girl) was a thing, a toy for having some fun.Indicates serious problems.This resembles the content shown in the millions of porn sites worldwide. Women are subjected to humiliations and degradations in them. There are sites which show women humiliate men also.These types of sites have takers, as their proliferation indicates.These sites have incited many sex crimes, as has been testified in court by the offenders.
Punishing the criminals doesnot seem to stem the tide of such crimes.Banning these sites will cause some other media like dvd/cd to come up as a substitute.
Without understanding the cause we cannot treat the disease efffectively.There is one possible theory as to its origin.The roots of this problem lie far deeper than we can imagine. Many children have not received positive love and affirmation while growing up.How many boys and girls grow up in homes of love and harmony.
The truth is that many parents use their children as emotional punchbags.In some families the mothers may treat the boy child brutally, partly due to the mistreatment received at the hands of her husband, which leads to a hatred of males and which she vents on the boy child.This appears as merciless beatings, the nastiest verbal abuses...the victim realises he has been abused only when he feels the hatred for women inside himself, when he becomes an adult.
The same situation can happen to girl children. In fact they are more vulnerable.
If in later years, he/she realises that he has a problem, he may go in for professional treatment to heal the inner wounds. Awareness meditation also can really help.
If somebody enjoys the filthy trash of perversions being dished out in porn channels and porn stories, it indicates festering deep emotional wounds inside him/her.They are in need of urgent help.
This issue is discussed in detail by Mike Genung .
Punishing the criminals doesnot seem to stem the tide of such crimes.Banning these sites will cause some other media like dvd/cd to come up as a substitute.
Without understanding the cause we cannot treat the disease efffectively.There is one possible theory as to its origin.The roots of this problem lie far deeper than we can imagine. Many children have not received positive love and affirmation while growing up.How many boys and girls grow up in homes of love and harmony.
The truth is that many parents use their children as emotional punchbags.In some families the mothers may treat the boy child brutally, partly due to the mistreatment received at the hands of her husband, which leads to a hatred of males and which she vents on the boy child.This appears as merciless beatings, the nastiest verbal abuses...the victim realises he has been abused only when he feels the hatred for women inside himself, when he becomes an adult.
The same situation can happen to girl children. In fact they are more vulnerable.
If in later years, he/she realises that he has a problem, he may go in for professional treatment to heal the inner wounds. Awareness meditation also can really help.
If somebody enjoys the filthy trash of perversions being dished out in porn channels and porn stories, it indicates festering deep emotional wounds inside him/her.They are in need of urgent help.
This issue is discussed in detail by Mike Genung .
Friday, May 11, 2007
Talking in the Right Way to Yourself
Hi All,
Ever felt desperate about the kind of self-development course or book that really delivers ? Most of us will have.
Well I too thought so until I read Dr.Shad Helmstetter's "What to say when you talk to yourself".
This book has the works.It feels a bit tedous as you mumble the self-talk given in the book, day in day out.It is grinding work, despairing sometimes, but I tell you, it is effective !
What he calls as self-talk is almost the same as affirmations.But he has explained it so covincingly that you immediately will want to try it out. Just keep at it, and you will be amazed at the results !
Another significant book on self talk is "Developing your Personal Power"
Ever felt desperate about the kind of self-development course or book that really delivers ? Most of us will have.
Well I too thought so until I read Dr.Shad Helmstetter's "What to say when you talk to yourself".
This book has the works.It feels a bit tedous as you mumble the self-talk given in the book, day in day out.It is grinding work, despairing sometimes, but I tell you, it is effective !
What he calls as self-talk is almost the same as affirmations.But he has explained it so covincingly that you immediately will want to try it out. Just keep at it, and you will be amazed at the results !
Another significant book on self talk is "Developing your Personal Power"
Friday, April 20, 2007
The Pleasures of Self-Discipline
In Kerala there is a type of ayurvedic medicine called Kashayam. It is very bitter. People used to sweet and dainty dishes will have a hard time stomaching this medicine. It has even become a kind of proverb to say “it is bitter- like kashayam”.
Certain kashayams have the effect of purifying your blood.
Discipline and any action aimed at improving our living conditions seem to be like drinking the bitter kashaya. You would rather relish the sweetness of languor.
Say for instance, you want to build up a muscular body. You have to work out a program of regular exercise and stick to it, every day. Every day at the same hour, you do the set number of pushups, sit-ups, chin-ups, dumbbells, everything in your prescribed routine. And you take the special diet, protein enriched to add muscles to your frame.
In the first few days, your body will scream, “No!”, as you press it into this unfamiliar regimen. You do not give in. You press on.
Then you break though the layer of resistance and actually start to enjoy the work out session. And slowly, the reward starts manifesting …a muscular body.
It repeats at every attempt you take at improving yourself- be it your handwriting, learning to speak in public, overcoming the fear of rejection in socialization, learning to meditate….
After a few months or so, you start to reap in the rewards: a lean, muscular physique, a neat and tidy handwriting that immediately catches attention, a new found confidence to stand up and deliver your message to groups of people, an ability to enjoy the peace and joy of meditation…
The Bhagavad-Gita also says: “Those pleasures which are bitter like poison in the beginning but later are sweet like nectar are the best…” The Gita calls them Sattvic pleasures…the Pleasures of Discipline.
Certain kashayams have the effect of purifying your blood.
Discipline and any action aimed at improving our living conditions seem to be like drinking the bitter kashaya. You would rather relish the sweetness of languor.
Say for instance, you want to build up a muscular body. You have to work out a program of regular exercise and stick to it, every day. Every day at the same hour, you do the set number of pushups, sit-ups, chin-ups, dumbbells, everything in your prescribed routine. And you take the special diet, protein enriched to add muscles to your frame.
In the first few days, your body will scream, “No!”, as you press it into this unfamiliar regimen. You do not give in. You press on.
Then you break though the layer of resistance and actually start to enjoy the work out session. And slowly, the reward starts manifesting …a muscular body.
It repeats at every attempt you take at improving yourself- be it your handwriting, learning to speak in public, overcoming the fear of rejection in socialization, learning to meditate….
After a few months or so, you start to reap in the rewards: a lean, muscular physique, a neat and tidy handwriting that immediately catches attention, a new found confidence to stand up and deliver your message to groups of people, an ability to enjoy the peace and joy of meditation…
The Bhagavad-Gita also says: “Those pleasures which are bitter like poison in the beginning but later are sweet like nectar are the best…” The Gita calls them Sattvic pleasures…the Pleasures of Discipline.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
The role of thoughts in shaping our destiny
One cannot over stress the effect of internal dialogue (also called unconscious self talk, thoughts etc) while discussing success, in any field. The age old habit of the mind to hang on to something, the inability to let go and stand by itself, is the root cause of this internal dialogue. (I am talking about unconscious self talk- that which we are not aware that we are thinking)
Right now, take a break and listen to yourself: what is going on inside your mind now? What are the thoughts rushing through your brain? Are there any feelings? Boredom? Become aware. From time to time, take a break and be aware of what is going on inside you, NOW. This can also be the key to overcoming addictions.
If you are like most people, you will find the thoughts rage on within each of us, all the time. Millions of thoughts pass through our minds everyday.Most of the time they are like an undercurrent, like if you are trying to catch a running bus, your mind might say: Will I get it? No, I will not get it. There. It is gone. Damn! Missed again! And we feel bad about it and about ourselves. This is natural, because we will feel good about ourselves only if we tell ourselves good things.
One reason we have been thinking this way is because we have been taught to think like that from childhood. For those who believe in rebirths, it’s been done for ages. Our entertainment media constantly presents us with set routines for reacting to situations. Thus, to resolve a difference of opinion, a fight is the only solution. We are caught in this trap. Wars start because of this set reaction.
To escape the cycle of repeated routine reactions to situations, one has to practice awareness- awareness of everything: thoughts, breathe, sensations, feelings, movements.
Suggested reading: What to say when you talk to yourself
Developing your personal power
Right now, take a break and listen to yourself: what is going on inside your mind now? What are the thoughts rushing through your brain? Are there any feelings? Boredom? Become aware. From time to time, take a break and be aware of what is going on inside you, NOW. This can also be the key to overcoming addictions.
If you are like most people, you will find the thoughts rage on within each of us, all the time. Millions of thoughts pass through our minds everyday.Most of the time they are like an undercurrent, like if you are trying to catch a running bus, your mind might say: Will I get it? No, I will not get it. There. It is gone. Damn! Missed again! And we feel bad about it and about ourselves. This is natural, because we will feel good about ourselves only if we tell ourselves good things.
One reason we have been thinking this way is because we have been taught to think like that from childhood. For those who believe in rebirths, it’s been done for ages. Our entertainment media constantly presents us with set routines for reacting to situations. Thus, to resolve a difference of opinion, a fight is the only solution. We are caught in this trap. Wars start because of this set reaction.
To escape the cycle of repeated routine reactions to situations, one has to practice awareness- awareness of everything: thoughts, breathe, sensations, feelings, movements.
Suggested reading: What to say when you talk to yourself
Developing your personal power
Saturday, April 14, 2007
A Technique for Relaxation
Relaxation involves letting all the stress and tension in the body and mind drain off us, till we hang like a limp, wet rag of cloth. Or a reclining cat that is the perfect example of relaxation.
Why is Stress caused? Research by authorities such as Dr. Hans Selye has shown that stress is caused when there are uncontrolled thoughts in the mind.
It is also true that it is not possible to control the thoughts as you would turn a radio knob off and on. But it is possible to befriend the mind .And that is the only way of controlling it.
It is similar to dealing with an unruly child. If we tell it not to do something, it will immediately go and do it. But if we give it loving attention and remain calm and watchful the child will eventually come to our side. We should not force it to do anything. Same is the case with the mind.
Why is Stress caused? Research by authorities such as Dr. Hans Selye has shown that stress is caused when there are uncontrolled thoughts in the mind.
It is also true that it is not possible to control the thoughts as you would turn a radio knob off and on. But it is possible to befriend the mind .And that is the only way of controlling it.
It is similar to dealing with an unruly child. If we tell it not to do something, it will immediately go and do it. But if we give it loving attention and remain calm and watchful the child will eventually come to our side. We should not force it to do anything. Same is the case with the mind.
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