Monday, November 14, 2011

Are You Discussing or Arguing ?

Most of us wouldn't pass up the chance to tout our favorites- be it beliefs on religion, politics, career, lifestyle or anything within societal norms. We would say it is a discussion. But it doesn't take long to see that most discussions are crusades to win others over to one's own point of view.

Isn't this the dreaded fear of being outnumbered ?

If anybody dared challenge our favorite dogma or belief, how many of us are willing to hear out their side of the argument, impartially, weigh its pros and cons, and take an unbiased decision?

Life and its numberless issues are too complex to be disposed of with blind, one-sided arguments.

So each time we try to bulldoze others' opinions, we lose a chance to gain a fresh perspective, and probably a closer approach to the truth.

There is even a book in the market titled :" How to argue and win every time".
It may be useful for debaters and lawyers and others of like professions.

However, when people try to adopt the same approach in their relationships, one can imagine the damage wreaked. This is normal, considering that arguments are from the head (intellect), whereas an open discussion requires us to be considerate of others (this is an aspect of the heart, that is, feelings).

The intellect cuts and separates, while the heart unifies (stitches together). (This is a quote from Mata Amritanandamayi,  a world famous mystic).

The intellect analyses, and the heart synthesizes. We do need both, in their relevant places.

So the next time you get into an argument, try to listen and consider the other person's point of view. Thank you for considering this!
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