Whether we realize it or not, it is not lack of techniques or knowledge that prevents us from improving ourselves. It is basically our non-supportive mind that holds us back from surging ahead to greater and greater achievements. The achievements can be in any field: acquiring new skills (improving our present abilities-language/career/social/etc), learning a new skill/sport/hobby, starting a group activity, and making a billion, Enlightenment…it can be anything that you want to do.
Why our minds do not support us? Because we have not been encouraged or affirmed or loved enough till now. If an individual receives unconditional love and support in their childhood, there should not be any snag in their personality. But we have dissatisfied and discontented adults who cannot handle their emotions, wreaking their frustration on the hapless children they are entrusted with. The adults can be: parents, elder siblings and relatives, teachers, servants, etc.
The repeated admonitions and chidings and putdowns burn themselves into the psyche of the child, and become part of his own thinking process:
You are worthless.
You cannot do a thing right.
You are a good for nothing.
You Idiot! Stupid! Rascal! Bugger! Devil...
You will never amount to anything.
You are a failure.
After hearing this tape with all its vehemence from the plastic years of childhood onwards, the child will start thinking:
I am worthless
I cannot do anything right.
I am stupid.
I am a complete failure.
Listen to yourself as you go about your day. You will know what your mind is telling yourself. This is your own self-talk.
And what we tell ourselves, we will actualize, manifest in reality. For more information on the mechanism of self-talk, read “What to say when you talk to yourself” by Dr.Shad HelmStetter.