Friday, June 03, 2011

The One Factor That Can Sustain Relationships

In one word, it is Introspection. Holding a mirror to yourself, to see your actions, words, and thoughts, as others see and experience them.

In relationships, people point to each other :"it is his/her fault ! She/he is responsible ! He doesn't do it right! She is always complaining !" In all likelihood, we will be having our own hideous sides that we cherish. We never think of casting a glance at how it may be affecting others. Even in this age of education, elders who  may be post graduate, still abuse their adolescent younger generation.

We are conditioned to look outside us for the cause and the solution. Of course, we can never be the problem. I find I have a strong tendency to blame the outside world for the way things are. It never occurs to me that I may be, in some way, contributing to the situation.

I complain about the banana peel lying on the road; but I never thought of cleaning it up myself. (Gandhi: Be the change you want to see)

People accuse their partners of behavioral problems, yet turn a blind eye to the secret sins that they themselves commit. It is impossible to accuse others when one is aware of his own shortcomings. There would be no time-one would be too busy working on himself.

So the next time you find yourself pointing your finger at your partner, look closely at your hand. See ? Your  three fingers are pointing back at you. There is something to be set right first, my friend.

Note: I am not implying that one should take all injustices lying down. Correcting others is more easier when you do it with consideration and love-just as you would like to be corrected. One needs to practice separating the action from the person. And if we find ourselves losing our emotional balance at others' faults, perhaps that is where we should start-being aware of our own feelings ! This works like pricking a balloon-it takes the sting out of your emotional turmoil. Keep at it and you can see the difference, slowly.


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