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Showing posts with label Emotional healing through Awareness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Emotional healing through Awareness. Show all posts

Friday, July 22, 2011

Benefits of Stream of Consciousness Writing, with Example

Stream of Consciousness writing, or Free writing as it is called in this article, has many health benefits. People have waxed eloquent about it being a source of creative ideas. I have not experimented deeply in that terrain. But I can vouch for its therapeutic effect.

To understand this, we need to first appreciate the amount of repression that an individual is subjected to while growing up, and later forced to conform to as an adult. All expressions of spontaneity are actively discouraged- you cannot laugh unless the occasion warrants it, out of fear of offending others. Those who do may be labeled a peculiar type among many things. Similarly, other expressions of emotion are also discouraged-no crying, no show of warmth unless the occasion sanctions, you can’t express anger, sometimes you even have to swallow your indignation and appear pleasing and happy.

"Children start out emotionally honest. They express their true feelings freely and spontaneously. But the training to be emotionally dishonest begins at an early age. Parents and teachers frequently encourage or even demand that children speak or act in ways which are inconsistent with the child's true feelings. The child is told to smile when actually she is sad. She is told to apologize when she feels no regret. She is told to say "thank you," when she feels no appreciation. She is told to "stop complaining" when she feels mistreated. She may be told to kiss people good night when she would never do so voluntarily. She may be told it is "rude" and "selfish" to protest being forced to act in ways which go against her feeling....more here ".

I remember the cancer patient (recuperating from chemo) who was interviewing for a sales post. The interview went well, and the manager enthusiastically clapped him on the back. The poor man, nearly doubled over with pain, for he was not fully healed. His face turned deathly pale, and he struggled to keep balance-that is until he noticed the manager watching him with growing consternation. To regain his footing, he put on his best smile and shouted,” I’m loving it! I’m loving it!” this made the manager even more skeptical. He was not selected. (Incident mentioned in A Funny thing happened at the interview by Gregory F Farrell*).

So you see the mindless repression arising from people following long established, unquestioned beliefs and practices, without using their independent judgments. It prohibits us from all forms of expression which are not in sync with established, accepted norms. Another example is when people of opposing races or religions fall in love or get married: they may face persecution.

Children are most charming, for they are not encumbered with these societal norms. The emotions pass through them freely-when they’re sad they cry, when happy they laugh, when angry they show it-it does not stay in them.  It passes through. And this keeps them emotionally healthy and so refreshingly innocent that adults crave their company. This innocence lasts until the child is forced to learn society’s adult ways to conform, for society has a mortal fear of spontaneity.

All this makes the individual lose esteem in himself or herself. What I inherently am, is of no value, I have to conform to what is imposed from outside. Children are silenced immediately when they speak up or express an idea or opinion. This happens in most families except the few progressive ones, where parents are introspective.

Bound up as we are in this hopeless mesh, we still have a ray of hope-to be ourselves as we were born. A child does not doubt itself nor the world. Free Writing (Stream Of Consciousness writing) offers some hope so that we can regain some of our spontaneity.

In Free Writing, we just write- we just move the pen. We do not think. We do not judge. And we do not stop until the timer is up. We don’t bother about spelling, grammar, logic, punctuation, meaning, coherence, commonsense, taboos, nothing. That is it. It does not have to make any sense. We are not even to think of sense. We only have to keep moving the pen. Or keep typing on the keyboard. It isn’t important to keep the i dots and t crosses and other marks correctly, either.

When we stop judging the subconscious, it develops trust in us, and slowly reveals more of its treasures. You have accepted the subconscious, this gives an increased sense of self-esteem from deep within, as the subconscious is also part of your being.

Free Writing provides a sympathetic listener who will not judge you for your thoughts and feelings. You can write whatever you want, about whomsoever you want, in whatever way you want, and as for whatever length you like. You can’t be that open with humans, of course.

In the beginning the onrush of repressed feelings can be a bit intimidating. It may be like a dam about to burst. Please read the following para carefully:

CAUTION: It is likely that unpleasant thoughts and feelings that have been repressed for long come forcefully to the surface. If you find that some unpleasant thought recurs in your free writing, you can write “Why am I writing this way ?” again and again. You may or may not get the answer. But it has a sobering effect that calms the turmoil. (Dr. James.W.Pennebaker, who has researched this topic in detail, advises to consult a psychotherapist if the obsession persists. He has authored the book “Opening up: The Healing power of expressing emotions**”. Most likely, if you detach yourself from your thoughts (because you are not them), and keep writing the question calmly, you’ll be able to come through any turmoil that may arise.

Because we give ourselves unconditional, non-judgmental attention, (heck that’s why we freewrite  everything that we think, right?) our craving for attention is reduced. This attention seeking has caused more problems than one can imagine.

It is quite likely that miraculous results are produced, over time, because the subconscious is a treasure house. Many important discoveries happened when the logical mind was not working. The best example that comes to mind is of  August Kekule who discovered the molecular structure of Benzene. He had thought deeply about it prior to that, and the alternating double bond structure was revealed to him in a dream.

I’ve also found that when I’ve something important to do (a meeting or decision-making), a session of free writing (say 5-15 mins) clears up my thinking, and I can get through the task smoothly.


A Stream of Consciousness Writing Sample
There are lots of Stream Of Consciousness writing samples on the net, however they contain very few errors, and few logical contradictions. And no trace of taboo topics. These are items that are very likely to surface when you take away the dos and donts of writing. Seriously leads one to believe that these samples have been edited, which makes them non SOC. So here is one of my SOC samples, just in case, anyone is wondering what it might really look like:

"if yiu ahve ever wondered what youa re going to do in the event of a manually powered recesssion, i can only tell you that it is but an imopossible mandream for the big biibs of istrionics calim that ather is notheing sucha s a manually powered recession. To top oit all, you have to check out once in every while to see if you have been triccking yourself into  fourteen year okld recession. it is in the interests of the netehr lands ther htha you have to et used to a manually powered recession in the event of ewhich you will find yourself nbeinf anonymously prooeeled foerward into a big pithoe that will only laugh at the stupiditieds of what you ahve don in your whole lifetime of aesthetic perfection."

This one does not contain profanities, but if it did, they'd be marked something like *&^#$@. No need to show you the dirt!

Note: Keep your SOC writing private. People who are ignorant about this process can misinterpret you.

      Core Catharsis: A New And Radical Approach For Resolving Anxiety, Fully Accepting All Your Experience, And Engaging Impulses

Why People Don't Reap the Rewards of Stream of Consciousness Writing
Here I've to differ from the notion that Stream of Consciousness Writing is writing your thoughts as they occur. It would be, if we did that. However, from the examples available, we can see that people are not really writing down their thoughts. They do, so long as they are agreeable thoughts. When an unpleasant memory rears it head, we recoil, and divert ourselves to some other topic. We may even pretend that such a thought did not arise.

People do not like to relive the memories of traumas like disease, abuse, rape, bereavement, and others. Because they also give rise to associated feelings of guilt, shame, fear, and so on. If these issues have been addressed through therapy, it may be easier.

But it is possible to face these unpleasant thoughts and memories, if we remember these points:
  • Express the trauma a few times in writing.
  • If they become repetitive, use the technique mentioned in the para labelled CAUTION above.
  • Remember that our thoughts or actions are not us.
By far, this is one of the most exhaustive resources I found on Stream of Consciousness writing:
http://www.letterstomyabusers.com/article_frombecomingwhole.html

You may also want to read Turning Garbage into Gold: How to Write Well with Stream of Consciousness

Is the fear of failure sabotaging your attempts at personal transformation? Find out: How to overcome the fear of failure
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Want targeted articles for your blog or online publication? You can find my contact details here: About me
Catharsis in Regression Hypnotherapy: Transcripts of TransformationWitnessing The Field Of The MindFinding BalanceBeyond the Breath: Extraordinary Mindfulness Through Whole-Body Vipassana Meditation

Friday, June 17, 2011

Part 2: Overcoming Resentment and Other Negative Feelings

The first part of this article did not mention the law of karma. It is a very useful concept to understand, irrespective of one's faith. It can significantly improve our mental equanimity and quality of life.

The Law of Karma boils down to this: you create your own destiny. What each of us is experiencing is the result of our own actions.

If we produce a line from our current location and extended it infinitely, and lived long enough to see it, it would describe a huge circle/ellipse in space and return to the point of its origin (See bottom for the explanation).

So, the point is, we have nobody to credit for our experiences but ourselves. We have brought on ourselves everything in this life by our thoughts, words and deeds.

As you sow, so shall you reap.

Newton’s third law of motion seems to corroborate in the metaphysical plane too: Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.

In the house of my Father are many mansions; and if not, I would have told you; I go on to prepare a place for you. John 14:2

One need not change one’s faith or religion to understand and accept the law of karma. You are not bound to accept other related philosophies if you accept this law. It is your choice.

At present, we cannot mathematically prove the law of karma and rebirth. But some documented cases point to this theory. You can check out this post here.

To understand karma in its real form, one needs to transcend karma. If we are inside the ocean we see only water; to see the ocean, we have to rise out of it.

It does not matter if we do not understand how and why each event arises in our life or how we go through each experience, the fact remains that we ourselves are behind it all. The action may have been performed in some previous birth.

Even in daily life, you can experiment: a smile begets a smile, a frown another frown. Efforts breed corresponding results.

How can accepting the law of karma benefit us? We can stop complaining about anything and everything, and if we want to change something, we can take constructive action towards it. Action performed with a calm and focused mind delivers results.

Accepting the law of karma means taking responsibility for oneself, which means we stop blaming others or God. It is like taking a huge burden of negativity off the mind. You will feel calm and relaxed.

(Explanation for infinite line becoming a circle: This seems plausible if we assume that the universe is spherical with a curved surface. All heavenly bodies-planets, their satellites, and stars, are spheroids. They have geodesic shape-that is, giving the appearance of straight lines even though having curved shape. Everything in the universe is found to rotate and revolve, so it seems fair enough to assume that the universe is a spheroid as well. Riemannian space theory (named after the German mathematician Bernhard Riemann) assumes that space is curved as opposed to Euclidean flat space. If this be so, a line (in mathematical terms, a ray) extended to infinity moves on a curved trajectory, and has to return to its originating point.)

Do you agree with this theory ?

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Monday, June 13, 2011

Overcoming Resentment and Other Negative Feelings-1

When misfortunes strike us, our first reaction is non-comprehending surprise. Then we think: why me? Why did it have to happen to me? Why was I fired? Why did I have to face indignity?

A lot of energy is expended in this way. It clouds our judgment and the way we interact with others, and prospective positive outcomes can be lost on us. Who wants to deal with an unsmiling, resentful, angry person who is so hung up on his past misfortunes that you can’t entrust an enterprise or responsibility to him? You wouldn’t, if I were to react with suspicion to your offer of help.

Too often we find people licking their old wounds long after the unfortunate incident has passed, holding grudges, spreading rumors about the accused perpetrator, and in general seething with anger and sometimes going to the extent of wreaking vengeance.

These actions may provide a temporary sense of relief, a vent; however in reality they are conditioning us to react to future incidents in the same immature way, for life is unpredictable and no one can think it is going to be a bed of roses. And people are of all kinds—kind, vicious, gentle, spiteful, opportunistic, cheating, vengeful, proud, slighting, unfaithful, lazy, irresponsible, loving, truthful, dishonest, loyal… You have a kaleidoscope open; that is what makes life interesting isn’t it?

But our issue is how to deal with the misfortunes and injustice meted that we may have to face sometime. And how to come out of it unruffled, like the feathers of a bird, on which water drops don’t stay, but roll off.

If we had the detachment to let these issues just roll off our mind, we could come out of potential disasters smelling like a rose.

I had to confront many bullying personalities at work and in personal life. I couldn’t stand up to them and would seethe for months and sometimes years.

But when I learnt of how to face situations without getting agitated, it was a different story altogether. I could pass through these situations, or, let them pass through me, without any negative residue.

For instance, when in college, I used to go by bus. The bus staff did not like students as they have concession, they could make more money by letting an adult passenger on that spot. On one day, I was getting off the bus at my college stop. The cleaner put his hand across the doorway, blocking the path so that I had to duck beneath it. It was a deliberate insult. There was nobody else in the bus. After getting down, I considered the situation. I could tell my friends in the college union and have the fellow dealt with properly. But such incidents have gone out of control and resulted in road blocking, stone pelting, bashing up the bus staff, and sometimes, buses being burnt up.

Instead, I tried to reason with myself. I did not lose anything here. I could think of him as a poor, uncultured, boor who did not know how to give respect and get respect. And now, the incident is long over, now I am being miserable by bringing it up and agonizing over it. Coming to think of it, you wouldn't expect a buffalo to give way to you, if ever you were to cross one’s path, would you? But let such thoughts be private.

I decided I would not follow his example and took slow, deep breaths. These helped me relax and detach. I soon forgot all about this incident and was back to normal.

Try to see the present moment, feel the present moment. That is to say, feel the breeze, feel your breath, feel the ground beneath your shoes, feel your stomach rising and falling with each breath. Gradually try to be aware of your feelings and thoughts. It is possible to be aware of each of our thoughts, even fluttering of eyelids.

When you notice a negative emotion, just watch it without critiquing or judging it, just note, I am angry, anger is arising. Breathe. Breathe into your stomach. Breathe through the feeling. And continue to observe it. Now you have unknowingly distanced yourself from the emotion. You will find it has lost its intensity and grip on you.

You have become calmer and can now think objectively.
This is an absolutely needed skill because many people behave irrationally nowadays.

Part 2 of this article.
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Friday, June 03, 2011

The One Factor That Can Sustain Relationships

In one word, it is Introspection. Holding a mirror to yourself, to see your actions, words, and thoughts, as others see and experience them.

In relationships, people point to each other :"it is his/her fault ! She/he is responsible ! He doesn't do it right! She is always complaining !" In all likelihood, we will be having our own hideous sides that we cherish. We never think of casting a glance at how it may be affecting others. Even in this age of education, elders who  may be post graduate, still abuse their adolescent younger generation.

We are conditioned to look outside us for the cause and the solution. Of course, we can never be the problem. I find I have a strong tendency to blame the outside world for the way things are. It never occurs to me that I may be, in some way, contributing to the situation.

I complain about the banana peel lying on the road; but I never thought of cleaning it up myself. (Gandhi: Be the change you want to see)

People accuse their partners of behavioral problems, yet turn a blind eye to the secret sins that they themselves commit. It is impossible to accuse others when one is aware of his own shortcomings. There would be no time-one would be too busy working on himself.

So the next time you find yourself pointing your finger at your partner, look closely at your hand. See ? Your  three fingers are pointing back at you. There is something to be set right first, my friend.

Note: I am not implying that one should take all injustices lying down. Correcting others is more easier when you do it with consideration and love-just as you would like to be corrected. One needs to practice separating the action from the person. And if we find ourselves losing our emotional balance at others' faults, perhaps that is where we should start-being aware of our own feelings ! This works like pricking a balloon-it takes the sting out of your emotional turmoil. Keep at it and you can see the difference, slowly.


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Saturday, December 13, 2008

Vipassana for sanity




Can we see prisoners as lesser beings?

The line that separates them and us is very thin. When people do not maintain awareness of their thoughts and actions, anything can happen.

Thousands of prisoners at India's once-dreaded Tihar jail did the Vipassana course initiated by Ms.Kiran Bedi. Many of them say that had they known Vipassana earlier, they wouldnt have been here now.

Here are photos taken from Vipassana courses conducted at Tihar Jail, New Delhi. The end of the ten-day course witnesses many dramatic scenes.You can see a prisoner crying on the shoulders of a police officer, after doing the Vipassana course.

Image Copyright:
Vipassana Research Institute, Igatpuri, India.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Befriending your feelings

We live in an era of repressed feelings. We are taught that our feelings are not ok, from child hood, so we are afraid of expressing our feelings freely. The child expresses itself without fear, without reservation; that is why it is attractive.

The first step in asserting your right to be an individual is to be comfortable with your feelings. We need to recognize and accept that it is ok to be angry, that we have a right to be angry. In fact, we need to honor our emotions. I do not remember where I read that, but that is a very important point.

When we learn to accept our feelings as normal, we come to accept our worth as individuals, as unique beings. Unique does not become just another word. We recognize our uniqueness as the uniqueness of a diamond.

When you feel intensely negative feelings building up inside, do not try to stifle them; instead, keep asking yourself: Why do I feel this way? Again and again. It will be useful to write down the question many times. The subconscious may reveal the answer at an appropriate time. But, as you keep questioning yourself without being critical or angry with yourself, you will feel the pressure of the negativity gradually melt away.

This is not a panacea, not a one-time-solution. You have to work at it day after day, may be a minute at a time, or as much as you are comfortable with. It can bring out latent talents you never thought you had, it can transform you into a more peaceful person. When we are comfortable with ourselves, we can be comfortable with others.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

The Gift of Relaxation: Free music

Here's a piece of excellent music by David M.Pierce. It is a rare treat of relaxation music, the instructions are given in a pleasantly soothing voice that gently lulls you into a state of profound care free state. It is ideal for a pre hypno or pre meditation session, or just to sit back and relax ! Relaxation is a precious free gift that you give yourself, as David says. Good Work,David !

You can visit his site at http://www.dpierce.com/trance/hypnomp3.html.

To listen :The audio will start playing as soon as this page is loaded. Click the Pause button. Wait for a few minutes. Then click the Play button.This will allow you to listen without interruption as the music downloads.Enjoy !

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Give Yourself Non-critical, Non-judgmental Listening

The title could well be Why do you get angry ? As yet, we do not know really the answer to that, but we can do something about it.

Each of your movements, the varying speed of your breaths, the tension in each part of your body, has significance. It requires you to be aware to realize their presence. For example, we need to be aware of the batting of our eyelids. It is not a grabbing of the events in our mind and body, to be aware of them. It is just letting the attention drift over them. Many events occur in our body-mind complex every second. We possibly cannot be aware of them all, in our present state. But our attention will flit from one of them o the other. Be aware of where your attention is at the moment. It can only be on one thing in a given instance.

If you study body language, you will have some idea of the emotions associated with each part of the body.

Coming back to non-critical listening and its healing power, recall the time when you were with a person who really was non-critical, non-judgmental. It might have been a doctor, and elder, a teacher or a friend. Remember how relaxing and reassuring was their listening. You felt totally accepted.

You can give that listening to yourself. You need to realize the importance of the events in you. Each movement, each breath, each emotion, each tension, each thought…Do not be alarmed if negative emotions surface. Just make a mental note of their presence. A Zen master said: Your feelings, your breath, your movements…are your treasures. You need to be aware of them.
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Are You Really Listening?: Keys to Successful CommunicationThe Wisdom of ListeningThe Non-Judgmental Christian: Five Lessons That Will Revolutionize Your RelationshipsJc & Me: A Dialogue on Nonjudgmental LoveLoving Yourself and Others: Discover the Art of Loving Yourself as Who You AreThe Art of Loving Yourself,The Manual for LIVING THE BEST TIME of Your lifeLoving Yourself: Four Steps to a Happier YouLoving Yourself for God's Sake (Spirit Life Series)Learning to Love Yourself: Finding Your Self-WorthThe Nine Rooms of Happiness: Loving Yourself, Finding Your Purpose, and Getting Over Life's Little Imperfections

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