Befriending your feelings

We live in an era of repressed feelings. We are taught that our feelings are not ok, from child hood, so we are afraid of expressing our feelings freely. The child expresses itself without fear, without reservation; that is why it is attractive.

The first step in asserting your right to be an individual is to be comfortable with your feelings. We need to recognize and accept that it is ok to be angry, that we have a right to be angry. In fact, we need to honor our emotions. I do not remember where I read that, but that is a very important point.

When we learn to accept our feelings as normal, we come to accept our worth as individuals, as unique beings. Unique does not become just another word. We recognize our uniqueness as the uniqueness of a diamond.

When you feel intensely negative feelings building up inside, do not try to stifle them; instead, keep asking yourself: Why do I feel this way? Again and again. It will be useful to write down the question many times. The subconscious may reveal the answer at an appropriate time. But, as you keep questioning yourself without being critical or angry with yourself, you will feel the pressure of the negativity gradually melt away.

This is not a panacea, not a one-time-solution. You have to work at it day after day, may be a minute at a time, or as much as you are comfortable with. It can bring out latent talents you never thought you had, it can transform you into a more peaceful person. When we are comfortable with ourselves, we can be comfortable with others.

Your Amygdala

This is a remarkable book by Robert Mauer :One Small Step Can Change Your Life. The Kaizen Way. He brings out many novel concepts based on modern neurological studies. According to Dr.Mauer, a small component of the human brain called Amygdala causes us to persist or retreat in achieving our goals. It is the Amygdala which takes care of the fight or flight mechanisms of the human body, enabling us to survive.

When we start a change in our behaviour pattern, for example, say,studying a new language, we find ourselves in unknown territory.And the unknown causes fear. If the amygdala gives out the signal to flee at this point, we will just escape from the task. It may come in the form of a headache, accident or a decision to stop studying.

I have decided to write one line everyday in order to develop my writing capabilities.If I feel like it, I may write more, or only one word; I am sure to achieve this target; I cannot miss it. It is not a formidable one. For it is the fear of failure that makes one retreat from endeavour. If the targeted goal is ridiculously low there cannot be fear.

Most of us fail to achieve our resolved goals because our amygdala is frightened by the unknown that we are venturing into.Even as I write this now, I am feeling uncomfortable, for I feel I have written more, and that I am expected to continue like this. My Amygdala is making me stop writing and run.

I need to gradually reduce my fear of failure and success.The trick, says Dr.Mauer is not to awaken the amygdala. The key to this is awareness and relaxation.