5 Ways to Keep Yourself Relaxed

The need for relaxation cannot be overemphasized. You need to be relaxed to function at your optimum potential. Without relaxation, you may miss the ideas and solutions that your subconscious throws at you. You are not able to listen to conversations with balance, you are not able to handle crises. It will be just a blur of thoughts and emotions and we react in the same old conditioned way- KABOOM!! I'd dare to say that many relationships run aground just because people are perpetually tense, they do not take the time and effort to relax.

I can see your brows going up. Effort to Relax? Is not Relaxation a state of being? How can one reach a state of being through effort? Will not that make us more tense, further away from Relaxation? Perhaps you imagine a person working himself into a frenzy trying to relax himself.

Agreed, relaxation is a natural event; but you need to give the time and space for it to occur. A bucket of muddy water needs to stand still for some time, if the mud is to settle and the water to become clear.

Here are some exercises that can help you be more relaxed. Relaxation is a common result if you do any of them. That is, you do not have to do all of them. They have other effects as well, which are different. For example, Taichi and Yoga aim at physical development also.

1.Taichi
Taichi is a form of dynamic meditation. It was developed by Taoist masters in ancient China. It is a series of poses which progress in an uninterrupted flow. It resembles slowed down Kungfu Kattas (forms or series of postures). One derives the maximum benefit when the attention is held in the movement or on the breath or in the Tan tien, the energy centre in the abdomen.
It heightens awareness and speeds up response time, while also making you relaxed.
The type of the energy experienced is slightly warm and quite buoyant (like the solar (Pingala) energy in Yoga). Ideally, one should acquire preliminary training in Taichi from a good teacher.


2.Yoga
Yoga of the body (Hatha Yoga) originated in ancient India. It is believed to have been handed down by the great Yogi God Siva himself. Yoga consists of static poses (Asanas) that you hold for extended periods. You will  pay attention to:

• Relaxation (avoid forcing your body into difficult postures but approach them gradually-over days/weeks/months)
• Slowness (while approaching a pose and descending from it)
• Awareness (of your movements and breath)

However, in recent times, variations like Vinyasa yoga (Power Yoga) have developed, which are more dynamic.

The energy experienced in the traditional Hatha Yoga is very cool, soothing, and refreshing. The internal organs receive a good, invigorating massage. After performing Yoga asanas as above for some time, you are ready for a session of meditation.

3.Meditation
Meditation for the modern man consists of two types:
(1)Sitting meditation in which the practitioner becomes aware of his thoughts and bodily movements so that they gradually reduce to zero (this can take quite a long period of practice). This need be practiced only for 15 to 30 minutes in the beginning.

(2)Dynamic meditation for the rest of the day:
The practitioner tries to maintain relaxation and focus throughout all daily activities. This is possible through awareness. Again, it requires sustained practice.

The benefits of Meditation have never been fully documented. This is partly because, as the practitioners go deeper into it, they are interested more and more in self-effacement (merging individuality), as they become aware of the Infinite Truth within. They are interested then only in experiencing it, not in communicating it.


4.Free Writing
Also known as Stream-of-Consciousness writing, in Free Writing we let our mind express itself freely on the paper-without the limits of grammar, meaning, punctuation, logic, or spelling. You can set a timer for 5-15 minutes and write non-stop- whatever comes to you.

CAUTION:In case you find an (unpleasant) issue recurring again and again, keep writing: Why am I feeling this way? You will get answers in due course. Some people get them immediately, for others it is a gradual calming in which things become clearer. Dr. James.W.Pennebaker has analysed Free Writing in detail in his book "Opening Up: The Hidden Power of Expressing Emotions."

Free Writing can cause you to enter a state of altered (heightened) consciousness.
5.Laughter Therapy
You can perform Laughter Therapy by yourself in privacy. In this, you laugh as much as possible, for no reason, for 5-10 minutes.You will feel a bit artificial at first, then you start enjoying the laughter, and you feel the relaxation spreading in your insides.

Nothing can frighten a man who can laugh. And we have the choice to laugh in any situation, it is our choice. Obviously, people in authority may misunderstand.  If you are apprehensive of offending others, laugh silently inside you.
Here is a post on Laughter therapy in Gaza.
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Heal Yourself-Heal the World

Friends, those of us who read about the mishaps happening around us, did you feel anything more than pity for the victims? Did you want to change the state of affairs in society and the world at large? Many of us may have felt frustrated at our apparent inability to do anything to mitigate these problems.

You need not be despondent. You can do something. In fact, many things. But you can strike a winning note by doing just one thing: Meditate.

Yes, that is right. Studies conducted in the US have shown that the crime rate was significantly lower in those cities, which had regular meditation groups. This was with reference to those cities without any meditation groups. Such cities had higher crime rates. This was based on a study conducted on TM meditation groups.

Please note, I am not trying to promote any religion or school of meditation. The end of meditation remains the same, in whichever way you do it: Reduction of thoughts. This leads to peace within. And when there is peace within you, it spills over into your surroundings also. Your responses become more thoughtful, you have more space for yourself, your companions notice your peaceful countenance, an aura of peace surrounds you. You become relaxed. A relaxed and happy face makes others also relaxed.

Waking up to a lovely dawn

We may have suffered countless indignities in the past. They may all be causing hurt inside us. The emotional wounds that we had suffered in our innocent childhood may have created ugly scars in our psyche that may be preventing us from embracing and enjoying life in its fullness now.

We may be ruminating over yesterdays' bad unpleasant events and carrying resentments into our heart, ruining our own day.

After spending countless money on therapists, counselors, Gurus, books and medicines, we still may be feeling we have not had any significant recovery or transformation.

But there is a way. And it is cheap; it does not cost a penny. You do not have to enroll in any online course, give your credit card details, or fill out countless questionnaires.

The secret is, here...

It is,

This, This, This, This... a zillion times This.

Enjoy your surfing.

The role of thoughts in shaping our destiny

One cannot over stress the effect of internal dialogue (also called unconscious self talk, thoughts etc) while discussing success, in any field. The age old habit of the mind to hang on to something, the inability to let go and stand by itself, is the root cause of this internal dialogue. (I am talking about unconscious self talk- that which we are not aware that we are thinking)

Right now, take a break and listen to yourself: what is going on inside your mind now? What are the thoughts rushing through your brain? Are there any feelings? Boredom? Become aware. From time to time, take a break and be aware of what is going on inside you, NOW. This can also be the key to overcoming addictions.

If you are like most people, you will find the thoughts rage on within each of us, all the time. Millions of thoughts pass through our minds everyday.Most of the time they are like an undercurrent, like if you are trying to catch a running bus, your mind might say: Will I get it? No, I will not get it. There. It is gone. Damn! Missed again! And we feel bad about it and about ourselves. This is natural, because we will feel good about ourselves only if we tell ourselves good things.

One reason we have been thinking this way is because we have been taught to think like that from childhood. For those who believe in rebirths, it’s been done for ages. Our entertainment media constantly presents us with set routines for reacting to situations. Thus, to resolve a difference of opinion, a fight is the only solution. We are caught in this trap. Wars start because of this set reaction.
To escape the cycle of repeated routine reactions to situations, one has to practice awareness- awareness of everything: thoughts, breathe, sensations, feelings, movements.

Suggested reading: What to say when you talk to yourself
Developing your personal power

A Technique for Relaxation

Relaxation involves letting all the stress and tension in the body and mind drain off us, till we hang like a limp, wet rag of cloth. Or a reclining cat that is the perfect example of relaxation.

Why is Stress caused? Research by authorities such as Dr. Hans Selye has shown that stress is caused when there are uncontrolled thoughts in the mind.
It is also true that it is not possible to control the thoughts as you would turn a radio knob off and on. But it is possible to befriend the mind .And that is the only way of controlling it.

It is similar to dealing with an unruly child. If we tell it not to do something, it will immediately go and do it. But if we give it loving attention and remain calm and watchful the child will eventually come to our side. We should not force it to do anything. Same is the case with the mind.

Yoga: a Panacea

Those who regularly practise Yoga can experience a gradual spreading of calmness. This is first experienced during the practice sessions. Gradually it spreads to the remaining parts of the day.

But one issue that most yoga practitioners would have faced is that of maintaining the calm of Yoga in the midst of workday pressures. How to stay calm and centered while that colleague is carping at you, spreading tales about you behind your back.

This is a real life situation most of us have had to face at one time or other.

It would be better to stop pretending to be an accomplished yogi who is having samadhi every time he meditates. We are all human. We have passed through countless lives before, and their residue is left in our minds in the form of impressions. When the apt situations crop up, they may rise like the sphinx.

This kind of vexing situation is known only to the serious practitioner. He who has been keeping at it for years. He may have had a few transcendental experiences, but when the ego is provoked in real life, the hot sweaty life of jealousy and rat race amidst the corporate jungle, he may forget everything and there goes ack!ack!ack!

Nothing to worry. We have to cultivate awareness. Awareness of our thoughts, feelings, actions. Here the Vipassana group has done excellent work by focusing on the awareness aspect of meditation.

We start with awareness of our bodily movements when we sit to meditate-the twitching of muscles, the ache in the knee, the blinking of the eyelids and the breath going in and out, ...

Then the feelings that arise---the anger, the fear, the lust,
Just being aware of them as they arise...not trying to control them...Trying to control thoughts would be like not trying to think of monkeys (which could end up to be a meditation on monkeys!)

We just let them be...give them space....AND WE LOVE OURSELVES...Accept OURSELVES for what we are now.Here.

Our failures don’t matter...our shortcomings don’t matter...It doesn’t matter who we are and what we have done so far...We simply accept ourselves…

Particularly useful is it to repeat to yourself :I ACCEPT MYSELF. I APPROVE OF MYSELF. Over and over…

Note: (Louise.L.Hay’s books are a great source of guidance for healing your mind and body.)