A Relationship Survival Tip

After the initial starry-eyed period of relationships are over, couples come to face their own weaknesses- and their partners'. Arguments turn into accusations of how everything was alright until the 'other' came along. It is always the 'other' who messes things up. Rarely do people own up their own errors and weaknesses that ruin relationships.

We forget that while pointing a finger at the other, three of our remaining fingers are pointing back at us.

We are irritated with our partners/spouses for sloppiness, for leaving the dishes in the sink overnight, for parking the car the wrong way-once one starts making a list, it starts to grow and grow. All the good things the person said or did, fade into oblivion. Finally we conclude: this is not the right person for me. Have I thought whether I have tried to be the right person? It rarely occurs to me, if ever.

The following thought may help save sinking relationships: Whenever we are tempted to accuse (even in the mind) our partner of a fault or a behavior problem, we could take a moment and ask ourselves: Have I ever committed or am committing similar mistakes or any other serious mistake?


Most certainly, one would come up with quite a large list. If it is difficult, we only need to ask those with  whom we interact closely.

Absence of faults makes us candidates for sainthood or perfect beings. A great yogi said: Those who are too good for this world are adorning some other (Sri Yukteswar, quoted by Paramahamsa Yogananda in Autobiography of a Yogi).
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Using Affirmations to Overcome Life's Frustrations

Oftentimes, when we go through our lives, maintaining our goals, dreams, and ambitions, we may be writing affirmations and visualizing for their manifestation. But we run into roadblocks along the way, which can sap our inspiration and energy. For example, we may have an argument with the spouse over the way something should be done, or your subordinate at the office may make a costly mistake, or our car may throw up some problem. These can act like a wrench thrown into a smoothly running gear system, messing things up. If we get caught up in it and react emotionally, problems are compounded, throwing us off course.

For me, the Indian public Internet service MTNL has often been a test of patience. It goes kaput right in the middle of transactions, or while booking train tickets. Watching videos meant having to refresh pages each time the service stalled. Despite this, the bills would never reduce in amount. I eventually had to get a private service for urgent needs.

How you handle such frustrations in daily life can really influence your mood and sometimes, the outcomes as well. Yes, its mysterious, but being positive in frustrations seems to magically turn things around in the right direction you desire. Even now, just as I was writing this, MTNL repeated its game: the Internet line went dead. 

I felt the frustration and the anger start rising in me, with all the negative arguments- about being cheated etc.

Suddenly, I held myself in check: "Hey, why not try something new ?"
"Try what?", my mind countered.
"Why not try affirmations stating my expectations ?"
"OK. Go ahead and try. Lets see what happens."

Here my expectation was to have an uninterrupted broadband service, 24 hours of the day. So I said to myself:


I'm having an excellent, continuous broadband connection. Uninterrupted seemed a negative word.


I repeated it a few times. Actually I was only hoping to find another economical, wire-line service provider. Because, wireless broadband is pathetic here. But the next instant, the modem sprang to life, blinking away steadily, which meant I could depend on the connection. It is still running now.

I'm thinking of using this in other areas of my life-in arguments, negotiations, interviews, whatever. To get fair and  reasonable value for my time, money, and other investments. I deserve it, don't I ?

Have you tried using affirmations (or similar techniques) to get positive outcomes in your life? I'd love to hear of them.
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Amazing Levitation Video

The following video shows an African shaman performing levitation. A German crew captured the scene. The video appeared on Youtube and some other sites spiritube. Some people have questioned its authenticity.
I think it is genuine for these reasons. Assuming the shaman to be 5-6 feet tall, the fire circle is at least double his height  in diameter that is, 12 feet. Also, when the second cameraman appears in the video, another five feet distance is revealed, outside the fire circle. Even if a pulley was used to pull him up(as some critics may say), it would need to be used on a rope overhead stretching at least 18 feet in length (sum of the above two lengths). Judging from the fact that this place does not have even lighting, it is hard to believe they could have found and used a pulley.
Second, if they did do so, why did they lift him up just by about 3 feet ? Why not lift higher, say to 6 feet? That would have been more spectacular.
Third, his body slants to the sides, it does not hang as it would have, if suspended.
Fourth, there are natives singing. Listen to the background. They would have seen.
These are some of the reasons I believe it could be original.

What do you think? Can it be authentic?



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Unreal...? No Real...Game of Death

Can a human being conduct 230-250 volts of electricity through his body? Science says its impossible and anyone attempting to do so will be electrocuted. But here is a man who not only conducts electricity through his body, but lights bulbs, runs blenders, and cooks food in hotplates, using his body as a live wire. Watch and believe!
Courtesy: History channel. Warning : Any attempt to imitate this will cause death.

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Too Many, Too Good?

Psychologist Barry Schwartz offers startling insights into the maze that we have trapped ourselves into by having too many choices.



Dry humor in a metro
This video reminds me of something that happened in a modern metro. An old man from a remote village was visiting his grandson in the city. One day, while he was alone at his grandson's apartment, he got bored and decided to take a walk. He wandered around the blocks, marveling at the order and the cleanliness, at the zappy cars, the stately buildings,...Finally he got tired and wanted a cup of tea, as was his wont, back in his native village.

He went to a restaurant and sat down at a vacant table. The waitress in immaculate attire approached him with pencil and pad to take the order. The following conversation is purported to have taken place:

"Good evening Sir, what will you have?"

"Good evening. I'd like to have a cup of tea, please".

"Of course sir. We have a variety of teas: peppermint, earl grey, cardamom, ginger, lime, jasmine, and green tea. Which one would you like?"

The old man was confused. The chai wallah at his village sold just a few varieties: with sugar or without, with milk or without. Now how would he know what each of these varieties meant?

"Please, I just would like some old fashioned tea with milk and sugar."

"With pleasure, sir. Now as regards milk what type of milk would you prefer for your tea: we have Natural whole milk,Whole standardised milk,Whole homogenised milk, Semi skimmed milk, and skimmed milk. If you want I can tell you the fat % in each. I'm sure you will want a particular flavor of tea. We have a wide range. To start with: mango green, lychee green tea, strawberry green tea, coconut cream, green apple, passion fruit, mango, lemon, watermelon,..."

Now he was in a dire quandary: What does each of these mean? Could he ask for sample? Or could he ask the waitress about how they tasted? He thought enough was enough, not to push his luck too far.

"I think I will settle for just a glass of water, for now. I'm sure I can try your teas later."

"We have several choices with regard to the drinking water we provide to our esteemed customers, our primary aim being your complete satisfaction: Spring Water, purified water, sparkling bottled water, mineral water, artesian water, or well water. What would you prefer to have, Sir?"

At that moment, her cell phone rang, and she excused herself to take the call.

The old man made his escape precisely at that moment.
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Instant Manifestation

Most netizens will be aware of Scott Adams' method of writing affirmations daily for manifesting their cherished desires. After The Secret, people have become more aware of their own innate power to create the life of their dreams.

However, having started on the path of manifesting your desires, have you felt that you were not getting to your dream desires fast enough? Or do you feel progress has slowed to a stand still? Considering the following points will rekindle your faith and give an added impetus.

Napolean Hill said it all in the title of his book:Think and Grow Rich. Earlier thinkers have said: Thoughts create our destiny. You are your thoughts..Thoughts are things. You are creating your future now with your thoughts.

If we really felt the impact of the truths in the above statements, we would realise the immense power that is passing through our hands each moment---Thoughts. We wouldn't waste a single thought away from our cherished goals.

We would be like the thief when he became aware of the treasure in the next room, he was always thinking about how  to get at it.


Science estimates that approximately 50,000-70,000 thoughts pass through the average human being every day. Hardly 5% of those thoughts are directed towards specific goals (for most people). Now what if you were able to direct more and more of those thoughts towards your goal? What if you direct ALL of your thoughts towards your  goal? I believe instant manifestation would be the result.

However, redirection of thought energy subjects the human psycho-physical system to a huge strain. Obviously, a gradual approach is preferable.
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Improve Quality of Life Experiences With Focus

You can see below a series of pictures of the same place, at the same time. Now, do you notice a progressive change in the quality of the pictures ? Which one looks appealing to you ?

The broad scene-not very attractive, isn't it? Even drab..But wait, see below...

Any better?

Hmmm...

This is a close up of the same flowers in the center of the first photo.

If you found the last photo much more attractive than the preceding ones, it is not surprising: focus improves the quality of our experiences.

Whether it is having a seven course meal, or a cup of tea, or even just a sip of water-most of us rush through our daily activities hardly noticing the moment. We are caught up in the ever rushing torrent of thoughts. Do we really breathe the freshness of the morning air, 'see' the beauty of a flower, experience the taste of a treat, ...?

Most people lose the magic of the moment. To experience it all you've to do is focus-just pay attention. You can experience ethereal beauty in common experiences just by narrowing your attention.

A word of caution: Be careful on what you focus. Focusing on experiences and thoughts which create unpleasantness is counterproductive. Lets focus on positive emotions and experiences, for they hold healing energy.

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Beyond Logic

The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali foretell of many powers coming to advanced practitioners of meditation; knowledge of the future is one of them. The following video was recorded in 1987-1989 by a Russian television channel. It is about a reputedly 250- year old saint, Devraha Baba.


The reporter asks him about the future of the then Soviet Union.


Devraha Baba answers:
"Litva has distorted the Baltics and the 3 Republics would separate, other Republics would follow up. You are going through a difficult period of suffering but at the end everything will be ok as you will be purged..."


If you check out the history of dissolution of the Soviet Union, you can see that the Baltic states of Latvia and Lithuania were among the first to separate. Perhaps the Baba meant them both with the term "Litva".
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissolution_of_the_Soviet_Union 


Here's the footage from Youtube:

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Being Honest, Being Happy!

Murugan and Peter at Peter's magazine shop in Ernakulam

When was the last time you heard of somebody trying to live up to the eternal principles, the basic values endorsed by all religions?  An incident that happened last week in Ernakulam, Kerala gives us heart, though some may doubt the sanity of the protagonist-in this world of instant gratification.

In the photo above, the man on the left, Murugan, has ample reason to wear that happy grin-he has won the state bumper lottery of 40,00,000 INR (80,000 USD) and a top-end Toyota Innova, in a draw this February. He is a labourer who works on daily wages-to be precise, he was.

But the smile of the man on the right, Peter, comes from something else-an act of honesty. He just gave up the prize of the lottery to its rightful owner-Murugan.Truth, Honesty, Kindness, love, Sharing,...The people who keep these values alive are probably sustaining the human civilization, being examples for others to follow, to hitch their faith to.

Murugan had a daily routine of buying a lottery ticket from Peter's shop. It cost him Rs.20. This went on for probably years. That day in this February, he did not have the money to pay for the ticket. So he asked Peter to keep aside a ticket for him-he would pay latter. Peter obliged for his regular customer.

When the prize results came out, Peter found Murugan's ticket had won the first prize. But Mutugan had not yet paid and not taken the ticket also. So he was not aware he had won-he did not know the winning ticket number.

Peter showed his real worth here-it was much more than those wads of money. He immediately called up Murugan and handed over the ticket, informing him of his win.

The rest of the story has been phenomenal-Peter is now celebrated by the whole city. The State Government has congratulated him and is showing appreciation by suitably rewarding him. His phone has not stopped ringing-receiving congratulations from even far off Gulf and Europe.

Here are just a few of the web clippings on Peter:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/WorldIsmailis/message/24129
http://www.daijiworld.com/news/news_disp.asp?n_id=130574

We thank you, Peter!
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A Natural Obligation Towards Cleanliness

I had just left the shop with my purchased goods and was on the road. Ahead of me, two teenage boys opened their chocolate bars they had just purchased. Popping the toffees into their mouths, they nonchalantly dropped the toffee wrappers where they belonged--on the road. There was not even a consideration if there were any dustbins around. Not that there were.


This is India. I doubt such behavior would be acceptable in any developed country. Singapore is said to impose a fine on anybody who litters or spits on the road-about $25 for the first offence. If that fine was instituted in India, it would be a major source of revenue to the government. We Indians feel obliged to present the bleakest, dirtiest picture of ourselves to the visitors from the outside world.


Jokes apart, we act as if we do not have an obligation towards cleanliness. I understand the citizens of the developed world may be sincere about keeping their surroundings clean, but I'm not sure if they show the same commitment towards a clean environment. If they had, they would have insisted on green vehicles, green energy, green construction-green everything. The research in solar power is limping along, mainly because there  is no serious demand in the market. The main obstacle they say, is the economy and fuel efficiency aspect. If it were possible to reduce the size of computers from one occupying an entire floor of 167.3 sq m (1800 sq. ft.) area (the ENIAC) and it could be scaled down to a laptop that you can hold in your lap, if you can successfully send men to the Moon and bring them back safely, why is it not possible to improve the efficiency of solar converters?


The human race has not realised its obligation to the environment, to nature. We do not realise that we are receiving from nature all the time-food, air, water, living space, and other basic resources.


And we want it clean-nobody wants food or water that is unclean. But it doesn't matter that we leave a clean environment, in return.


This is a paradox of human nature, of counting only our rights and not our obligations. I have to say our materialistic philosophy based exclusively on profit making is the culprit here.


We do not try to think of what consequences there can be. Man is a part of nature, if he destroys her, he destroys himself. Its like sawing off the tree branch on which one is sitting.


It is time for us to wake up to this reality that we cannot exist separate from nature, that nature is our own source and destination--one whom we can rightfully call our Mother.
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When Someone Enters Samadhi...

Googling for this heading, I found this site:


http://www.spiritualnow.com/articles/2069/1/My-First-Satori---Temporary-Experience-of-Enlightenment/Page1.html



"......... that stress that I recognized as myself was gone."


Isn't that beautiful? This man seems to know what he is talking about.
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Would You Like Some Happiness?

If you answered YES to this question, I hope you also know where to find it, for I only wanted to tell you that I cannot give you happiness. Not just me, nobody else can do that, for that matter. Not your spouse, your children, your pup,..parents..no.

Sorry, but this came out of the following paragraph from Michele Weiner Davis's ground breaking book "Divorce Busting":
People are shocked to discover that their difficulties continue to hound them in spite of their single status or their choice of a new partner. Some disillusioned divorced people tell me, "My spouse's habits really irritated me, but now I cant cope with this loneliness. The silence in the evenings is killing me.." Or " the new guy I married seemed so sensitive and open, the qualities I missed in my first marriage, but  as I've gotten to know him better he now seems more like a clone of my first husband." Or "I thought leaving my wife and all of her demands would make me happy, but oddly enough I am still unhappy."

Reminds you of something? Perhaps we too often forget to look in that oft neglected secret place: Within ourselves.

For more information about her book, see: Divorce :A Solution?
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More Stories from the Other Side---Hope

 Mellen-Thomas Benedict, an artist in the U.S, was in a state of physical death for over an hour and a half. After his apparent physical death, he had extraordinary out of the body experiences that challenged established norms of knowledge and thinking. After returning to life, he was able to make scientific discoveries based on his NDE (Near Death Experience). Mr. Benedict is involved in research into the mechanics of cellular communication and is the holder of  six U.S. patents.

Excerpts from his account:
....From what I have seen, I would be happy to be an atom in this universe. An atom. So to be the human part of God ... this is the most fantastic blessing. It is a blessing beyond our wildest estimation....
.....It was not a near-death experience. I experienced death itself for an hour and a half........
This sentence is of particular interest:
.......My memory of the journey came back later. I could see nothing wrong with any human being I had ever seen. Before that I was really judgmental. I thought a lot of people were really screwed up, in fact I thought that everybody was screwed up but me.....
http://www.near-death.com/experiences/reincarnation04.html

You can also read the article in the following link. It is one of the best known documented cases of out of body existence (NDE). It happened at the Harbor view hospital, Seattle: http://nowwithouthesitation.blogspot.in/2012/04/near-death-experiences-and-rationalism.html
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A Near Death Experience- Documented

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Why We Don't Experience God

If God or Truth is present everywhere, including us, why do we not see or experience this Truth? As it is within us, we only need to look within and we should see. The signs of a person who is experiencing God are: happiness in spite of any kind of outer circumstances, and not needing a crutch for happiness.

There are two main reasons:

• Our attention is always turned outward. We hardly ever look within.
• Our minds are constantly vibrating so that even when we look, our vision is blurred. Imagine a pool of muddy water in constant motion. To see through the water, first we need to allow the mud to settle down, by letting the water stand still for some time. Secondly, we should not keep disturbing the water.

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Steve Jobs' Words of Inspiration

Of the 300 million Apple ipods sold (as on October 2011), I happen to use one. This had been my only connection with Steve Jobs so far. A video on Youtube changed my perception of Jobs.

Apart from being the game changer in the electronic entertainment industry, Steve Jobs also had a deep, uncanny philosophical outlook on life that combined ancient truths with personal observations and experiences. Experiences that were far from what one would expect for a top achiever like him.

Many of us may be unaware that his early life was full of hardships and uncertainties. Startlingly, here was a man who was given away by his biological mother to a childless couple, a man who had to drop out of college because he didn't want to study on his parents' hard earned money--but look at what he became, what he achieved. Stupendous!

Here's Steve Jobs' Stanford 2005 commencement address:

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The Motivation to Change

Pain is the motivator that forces instant change.

At some point in our lives, we might have endured immense pain-physical or psychological-which left us desperately seeking a remedy: Oh God, I'd do anything to get rid of this, to be out of this terrible experience.

What about those who commit major offences?

Students who get caught cheating in exams, cheating partners, corrupt officials and ministers who get caught, all have their fall from grace, their moments of ignominy. Recently, three ministers in the state of Karnataka (India) were caught on camera viewing porn in the state legislative assembly. They were forced to resign, and their political career and stature would be difficult to redeem.

We read of many officials and ministers around the world getting retribution for their shameful acts. Some of them pay with their lives-like Gaddafi. Others are subjected to disgrace-public inquiries, trials, impeachments, which are worse than death. Lets not make a list of those people here.

If even after such painful experiences, such people do not reform, greater and greater tragedies await them.

Mata Amritanandamayi, modern day renowned mystic and spiritual teacher, relates this story to stress the importance of commitment to duties-worldly and spiritual:

"A corrupt businessman was not willing to pay taxes. According the law of his land, the punishment for not paying taxes was either to drink 10 glasses of salt water or to receive 30 whip lashes. "I'll take the punishment," he said, thinking he could easily drink salt water.

The day of punishment arrived. The officials took him to the public square and put the glasses of salt water before him. He took a sip, and reeled back, nauseated. He was used to dainty dishes and wines, and the taste of the intensely salty water was too much to stomach. "OK, I'll take the whiplashes", he said, still not wanting to part with his money.

As the first blow landed on his back, he cried out, wincing in pain." Oh, I'm going to die", he thought. Never having had done any sort of physical work, his body was like butter.

When the guard raised the whip again, he fell on his knees and begged,"Enough, enough, pleeease! Let me go, I'll pay all my taxes with interest".

He not only drank salt water, but also had to endure blows, and in the end, paid the taxes as well.

If man does not evolve, nature will force him to evolve, even at the point of the bayonet, said Swami Vivekananda, a saint and social reformer of the early 20th century.

So whenever a small inner voice from inside whispers to us: "Don't do that......do this...it is the right thing to do", we better heed it.

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Lessons From an Animal

We humans are impatient with everything. We want instant solutions to everything- jobs, money, career skills, marriage, health…When something goes wrong, or doesn't work out well, we are frustrated, have a bout of depression, trauma, and what not.

Recently, I learnt a lesson in patience from a neighbor. It was an animal, a female dog. Every year, she gets pregnant and gives birth. The births occur during the winter, and sadly, few pups survive the intense Delhi cold which dips down to 3 degrees Celsius.

Last year, I had seen her with a fresh litter, cuddled under the staircase of a building. People did provide blankets and food, but only one survived. It was too sad to see the tiny pups lying dead, the lone survivor moving over their bodies. The mother was unusually silent, weeping out her sorrow in a corner. She didn't usually allow anyone to pass that way, but that day, she didn't even lift up her head. Perhaps she was angry with us humans for not providing a shelter, for not protecting her pups from the chilling winds.

This year, to atone for that, we did not drive her out when she came for shelter inside our compound. We let her have a portion of the portico, and there were blinds to keep out the wind. Tonight I heard sounds of licking tongues, and moments later low pitched squeals. She was in labor! We watched as she patiently tugged the pups out of her abdomen, one by one. It went on for hours.

She had every reason to give up when her pups died last year, but the instinct of life innate in her made her go on. We humans could take a cue from this when faced with setbacks: Keep on keeping on, there's light at the end of the tunnel.
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For a Change..Laugh, Seriously!

Oh my God! Laughing Buddhas!

Inspired? Why not try it out ? See this video below:



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Self-belief For Better Personal Relations

He didn't look at me, she did not greet me, these people don't smile...these are pet peeves of people at social gatherings:  How often have you gone to social functions and felt that people don't show warmth or consideration? This is more true in big cities. If you are a teacher or a public speaker, you must've felt exasperated sometimes by the expressions of people in the audience-blank stares, angry glares,...never acknowledging your best efforts.

I believe it is possible to have a nice time even if you go to a place where you know no one. You need to be happy with yourself. Somebody said: You've to be comfortable with yourself if you're to be comfortable with others. You've to like that person whom you see in the mirror. Only if you accept yourself unconditionally, as you are now, will you get that self love-not regarding your past, your failures, your errors and omissions-not withstanding. It doesn't matter at all who you are or what you have achieved.

All that matters is -to ACCEPT YOURSELF AS YOU ARE NOW. You'll feel instant relief, a lightening of the heart, a relaxed, lighter state of being. You have acknowledged your divinity, you're at peace with yourself.

You might need to work on this, contemplate this fact, meditate on this-and be convinced. Then it will form the solid bedrock of self-belief on which you can have fun developing your skills in whatever way you want.

ACCEPT THIS: No matter what I have been in the past, no matter what I have done, I AM GOOD. I ACCEPT MYSELF UNCONDITIONALLY. I APPROVE OF MYSELF. I LOVE MYSELF.

There is no limit to reinforcing this belief-one may do it all the time till it becomes second nature. You'll feel gradual transformation, you'll forgive yourself when you make mistakes.You'll be more open to others, to observe evolving life situations from a neutral vantage point and respond in a balanced way. You wont get caught up and give off knee-jerk reactions which complicate matters. You will learn to free yourself from the grip of circumstances.

And when you have that freedom, you'll be able to view others' shortcomings with compassion. Instead of attacking them and deepening their wounds, you'll be able to let go of your hurts, and accommodate others.

Everybody is the result of their circumstances, and people are doing the best they can.
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