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Friday, July 12, 2013

Simplicity of The Profound

    Play, child, grow
Try, bird, fly
   Know, be joy.

Do you think the above poem by Ramana Maharshi summarizes the evolution of the human mind into the Divine?
Ramana Maharshi was an enlightened sage who lived in South India. He attained final Samadhi in 1950.
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Monday, July 08, 2013

How to Have Fun Teaching, Studying, or Just Anything

Would you like to have fun in studying, writing, working at your day job, teaching your child, or doing house hold chores? How enjoyable would life be, if we had fun doing all our must-do tasks!

You would definitely be having some activities in which you have fun : it could be shopping, socializing, playing games, watching movies, reading comics, meditating, or anything else. Is your favorite activity not in this list? Excuse me then.

I started thinking on these lines when I ran into obstacles while trying to improve my writing. All fresh writers need to observe quite a lot of rules, if not born with the talent or if lacking a natural love for the craft. With all the constraints, I found writing was not fun anymore. And if you do not have fun doing something, it becomes a chore, something to be got out of the way. Any stuff written that way will not be palatable.

If you have fun doing something, others will also feel the same way about it. So wouldn't it be great if we learnt how to have fun doing anything, including performing our mandatory tasks?

Why do we enjoy our favorite activities?

We enjoy activities in which we are not criticized or judged, and those without too many don'ts.

Do you like Football and Tennis? I do, though I have no claims to be a player. If the Football coach keeps repeating, do not send the ball outside the ground and such other don'ts, would you like the game? It'd be difficult-because you are constantly thinking about what not to do. You become worried whether you'd be criticized for doing something wrong. Your mind does not stay on the game and you lose the fun of it.

Instead, beginners in any game are repeatedly given instructions on the rules. If some one breaks the rules, others tell them it is a foul. That is all. There is no endless drumming of not-to-do lists.

While playing football, there are a set of rules: don't touch the ball with the hand, play inside a designated rectangle, and such others. Still we enjoy the game. This is because we are absorbed in the ball. We participate fully, as there is a single target.

We will not be able to participate fully in a game if we do not exert ourselves fully, if we get angry, or if someone criticizes us constantly and runs us down.

Alright, so what should I do to make life exciting?

We can draw lessons from our fun activities and apply them to our must-do tasks, so that they are also fun to do. Just keep these points in mind:
  • Keep a positive outlook, take every event positively.

  • Focus on what needs to be done, rather than what should not be done.

  • Give your everything and get fully into it

  • Keep it continuous for a period of time. Go at it in 15,30,45, or 60 minute sessions. That is to say, avoid all other activities-browsing, social media, phone calls, etc in between.

  • Breakdown large goals into smaller sub-goals. The smaller, the better. You will have the gratification of finishing each one. As you grow accustomed to the task, you can increase the size of the sub-goals.

  • Take just one sub-goal at a time and focus on it.
Turn your day-to-day tasks into enjoyable, absorbing activities just by following these simple rules, and have fun in everything!

What is your favorite activity? Do you use it to unwind or to improve productivity? Let me know in the comments below.
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Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Curing Homosexuality from the Karma Vantage

At college, I had a bench mate who had a 'queer' sexual orientation. There wasn't much awareness of homosexual behavior and characteristics and most of the class found his advances irritating. They often made him the butt of cruel jokes.


The 21st century hasn't changed situations sufficiently for homosexuals. People who consider themselves a minority feel isolated and fearful. When there is the added stigma of social disapproval, they are desperate to convert others to their belief systems. So this is an area where some homosexual people desperately try to spread this "cause" by all means.


Even though sexuality is an individual choice, the tremendous stigma in this area traumatizes many homosexuals.

Karma offers a view point that can clear the discomfort in this area, for both straight and gay people.

Nobody is eternally male or female

According to the theory of Karma, we continue to take birth until we reach enlightenment or complete freedom. We can have different genders in different births. A person who is a man now, might not necessarily have been of the same gender, in his previous births. The same fact applies to women.

As we pass through each birth, we pick up impressions based on life experiences and our reactions to them. We also identify with our personality and character in each birth. These impressions, reactions, personalities, and character lie dormant in the psyche. They are not permanent (eternal). When we die and later acquire a new birth, we get a new gender, personality and character according to our aggregate karma at that stage.

Sometimes, our latent personalities and characters surface, under suitable circumstances. Thus, sexual preferences from past births may surface now. A man can have the remembrance of a past birth when 'he' was a 'she' and feel attraction towards his same sex now. Today, this would be immediately labelled "homosexuality."


Gender is not an achievement to be proud of. Sexual orientation, neither!

None of us demanded and got their particular gender. 

The intolerance which surrounds homosexuals is the result of the mistaken idea of 'masculine' superiority.

Many people are troubled by homosexual thoughts that they have, and they wonder/worry: am I a homosexual? And they go on a frenzied search on how to cure homosexuality.

Studies have revealed that most people experience homosexual thoughts at some point in their lives. Dr.James W Pennebaker in his "Opening up: The healing power of expressing emotions" reveals the case of a young woman who occasionally felt homosexual impulses. She was alarmed and struggled to suppress them. Dr. Pennebaker explained to her that these are just passing thoughts. It does not necessarily mean that she is a homosexual.

It is not a catastrophe to be one either. There have been many such gifted people.

Many men are troubled by similar thoughts and struggle against them. This is a tremendous expense of energy. The more you struggle against a thought, the more it acquires power. As "The Secret" says: Energy goes where attention goes.

C.G.Jung: "What we resist, persists."

The best way to take the power out of these thoughts is to witness the thought, just as you would watch traffic from the top of a building. We would just watch the vehicles moving by. Some of them are beautiful and some are otherwise. We wouldn't try to jump on to them, or force them away. One could approach obsessive compulsive thoughts in much the same way,

Do not try to fight or struggle against an unwanted thought. Acknowledge it, and breathe. That will relax you.

While witnessing thoughts, it would be ideal to have something to center ourselves on. Watching the breath, or just being aware of the bodily sensations, gives that center.
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Tuesday, June 04, 2013

Dealing with Violent Thoughts

Have you ever struggled with violent anger so much that you imagined yourself hurting people? Or yourself? This happens when you are not able to articulate your feelings and emotions healthily, without fear. Learning to express our feelings and emotions without fear is a part of Assertive behavior. However obsession with violent thoughts is an internal thing, and can spiral. The more a person tries to control these thoughts, the more they multiply.

I became aware of how many people suffer from this situation when a friend told me he was feeling impulses to strangulate his children. He was scared. I recalled a period in my life when I used to lay down to sleep every night, wanting not to wake up the next morning, to sleep forever--the easy way out.

The emotional energies in us seek expression. However, if you have been forbidden the freedom of expressing emotions such as anger and fear in childhood, later it can give a hard time understanding and resolving these emotions.

Ideally, emotions need to pass through our system freely. It is best not to obstruct them or to go along with them. To witness them like an outsider without judgment or criticism is very healing. Watching the breath or counting breaths helps to be an impartial witness.

If you regularly dip into the calming experience of meditation, it will be easy for you to divert yourself when these obsessive violent thoughts come. Knowing the psychologist's view is also helpful. This article contains useful information and techniques on dealing with violent obsessive thoughts:
http://www.ocfoundation.org/eo_violent.aspx
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Wednesday, May 15, 2013

How a Four-Year-Old Motivates Herself


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Saturday, May 04, 2013

Where the Rot Starts

A recent corruption scam in the Indian Railways exposes how corruption at the top trashes the entire system. When all the departments malfunction from corruption, the standards of life fall hopelessly. The government, if it aims to enforce correction at the grass roots level, will only evoke resentment and ill will among the people. The surgery has to begin from the top down.

The nephew of the Union Railway Minister of India has been arrested for receiving bribes of just under ten million INR (170,000 USD) for a top level appointment in the Indian Railways, the eighth largest employer in the world.

Let's look at how this scam can affect the quality of Indian Railways and life in general in India.

The appointed candidate holds a top level job. He has to make up this money and turn this investment into a profit as much times higher as possible. He will in turn demand and receive bribes for candidates that he recruits during his tenure. If a post can be had for money, then naturally the highest bidder becomes the most eligible. Qualifications and skills required take a back seat. Thus ineligible persons come to occupy the positions from top down. These people will be lax in discharging their duties, bringing down the efficiency of the Railways. The people subordinate to them whom they recruit-these recruitments will also be made based on money. Thus more ineligible candidates fill in the ranks of the Railways. The higher up the rung the occurrence of corruption, the faster and more thoroughly the rot spreads. In no time, the majority of the Railways posts are manned by inept employees.

The consequences will be constant delays in train services, frequent cancellation of services, frequent accidents, scams in purchase of machinery, ....

Dacoities and robberies on trains will be wide spread as nobody cares any more and any authority can be bought to help culprits.

The volume of passengers steadily goes down. The organization plummets into loss after loss.

Looking at the news, the railways has been suffering all of the above calamities for quite some time. Robberies are common. Trains slow down at designated points  ( Look at this story: http://www.telegraphindia.com/1100121/jsp/northeast/story_12007249.jsp).

One wonders whether this is just one scam that has been exposed-whether it has been going on for some time?

Air India, the national carrier, has been suffering a similar fate with tales of rampant corruption.

When many of the state departments have been rendered inefficient because of corruption, it emboldens  neighbouring countries to make incursions into Indian territory with impunity. China probably seized the opportunity.

One wishes the Government, instead of trying to muffle anti-corruption movements by Anna Hazare and Arvind Kejriwal, had taken on the corruption challenge and tried to mitigate it.
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Thursday, April 04, 2013

Can Bail-Outs Rescue Economies?

"A bottle of drinking water costs INR 50 (0.92 USD) in Dubai, and a liter of Petrol, INR 10 (0.18 USD)" When my wife mentioned this in a conversation, I was surprised, as she had expected.

Drinking water in Delhi costs hardly INR 12 ( 0.22 USD), but Petrol costs nearly INR 70 (1.28 USD) a liter.

This sparked a discussion on how bail-outs can help falling economies.

It always intrigued me how wads of notes drove the modern man's life, when in ancient times, the barter system had prevailed.

A million for a bottle of water

Suppose, I had a million dollars with me; I should be able to buy as much water as I want. However, if there is no water available, what value does my money have?

The value of currency undergoes drastic or total change with a change of location or life situation.

For people trapped in a desert or forest or sea, money is no big help. It can be a hindrance. So also when trapped in a hostage crisis or other calamity.

If you think about it, money does not have value by itself. There are a lot of things that lend value to money:
  • labour
  • infrastructure: power, transport, housing...
  • availability of resources
Labour: If there is no one to sell the water, or to perform the myriad processes prior to it, money cannot buy water indeed.

On another level, the value of money is enhanced also by:
  • people
  • love
  • moral values: honesty, sterling service,...
  • good manners
People: If one has a lot of money but nobody to share it with, it would be a lonely life indeed.
Love: Love gives us the zest to go forward in life. Give love to get love.


The real reason for an economy's fall: consumerism

When business aims solely at increasing profits, values suffer. When values deteriorate, business and business products also lose value. It is the sad way for man to realize that matter is subordinate to spirit. Spirit is supreme. Values originate from the spirit.

A life of pleasure-orientedness leads us further and further away from the Spirit.

The way out: bring back the values

It is time for us to place moral values higher than profit making. It is the quality of service that needs to have the top priority, profits will follow naturally.
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Monday, March 18, 2013

Are You a Door Mat? Not Any More!

When shy or timid people try to be assertive, they may come across too strongly, looking aggressive. Assertiveness is welcome, aggressiveness drives people away; and being passive-timid will have people walk all over you.

A simple combination of assertive body language signals, positive thoughts, and relaxation can set you towards being an assertive individual in control of his/her destiny.

In this video, Dr.Drew McAdam describes the fine line between being assertive and being aggressive. Click this link to watch this video and read the transcript: http://programmes.stv.tv/the-hour/home/real-lives/238582-drew-mcadam-stop-letting-people-walk-all-over-you/#
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Wednesday, March 13, 2013

We vs. Them: How A Skewed Vision Ensures Failure

A company's shareholders are the gods of the management. The employees and the customers are just a means to an end: more profits.

  • As a customer, I feel used that the company does not take into account my needs.
  • As an employee, I am resentful that the company does not consider me as important in its scheme of things-my ideas are not listened to, my working needs are not attended to.
  • Disgruntled customers go looking for other companies.
  • Dissatisfied employees quit and seek other opportunities.
Employee satisfaction does not always mean better salaries. Treating me as a person and appreciating my contribution works wonders for my spirit and output. I sincerely believe absence of spirituality is a huge deficit in modern management practices. Take one example: Jesus's dictum "Behave unto others as you would like to be behaved unto" is a universally applicable principle. All other cultures echo this sentiment. Who wouldn't respond to when treated with respect?

Yet, pathetically, it is confined to the books and sermons. When it comes to real life, it is always We vs. Them or I vs. You.

True happiness can only be experienced when our circles of concern expand - when we care not just for us, but for our family, society, country, the world- in an ever-widening circle. The joy that you experience then is oceanic-you give up/transcend your narrow personal likes and dislikes and embrace the common good of humanity. It is immensely rewarding-more than any drug or toy.
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Thursday, March 07, 2013

Improving Software Usability with Technical Documentation - A Case Study

As you might be aware, Recallplus is a mind-mapping software that can do flash card testing as well. The vendor says it is the only mind-mapping software which can do both.

I bought the Essentials version a few years back, and it seems to fit in my expectations. There are a number of functionalities which you will find convenient in mind-mapping for studying

The only hitch is that the program is a bit unwieldy at times. Using a tablet can solve this problem.

Many of the nice features of this application lie obscure because there is no clear documentation. I took the short cuts portion from the online help and applied some technical writing principles. I hope it is effective now. What do you think?

You can download the Free Shortcuts Guide for Recallplus by clicking .

To download the Recallplus software for free, click here. It allows unlimited mind-mapping forever. You need to upgrade for testing and other functionalities.
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Sunday, February 24, 2013

Encounters with A Mystic

It was in the September of 1988 that I met a most unusual being.

I had just finished my four year Engineering course and was in a shambles. I left the course with a lot of back papers. 


Dejected and defeated, I hoped to find some support from my home. At home there were my parents and my grandmother. 


I couldn't be more mistaken. Because her son had been a topper in all classes till then, my mother took it as a personal affront. She was the principal in a leading teacher training institute in my home town. She just could not get it why I would choose to fail so miserably. Yes, she thought I had chosen failure. That is another story. 


But I want to tell you something that happened in that September when I met a mystic for the first time. 


It was a rainy evening. My friends-one local guy and two others from the college had hinted that they might also want to see the mystic. But the torrential rain dampened their enthusiasm. So they chose to hole up at home watching some movies.


Something impelled me to go on. 


It was not easy in those days to go places in Palakkad, because the public bus service did not reach every where. You needed a car or a bike to go to remote areas. Not having either, I took the bus to the town and from there boarded another one to take me to the venue of the program, a temple called Manappullykkavu. It is about half an hour from the town center.


After leaving the bus, there was about five minutes' walking. Soaking wet, I ran through the rain and reached the shelter of the program hall.


I was surprised to find the hall packed with people, in spite of the rain. They were all squatting on the bare floor. I found a place in the middle of the hall, by a pillar.


The program started soon after. 


The mystic was Mata Amritanandamayi. 


She sang devotional songs to the gods in the Hindu religion-Ganesha, Krishna, Devi, Siva, and others. Afterwards, one could meet her and receive a hug and a sweet. It was called darshan.


I had grown a liking for devotional songs. It let me forget my worries, for the time being. 


I enjoyed the session. Well, not for too long. It was almost two hours before it ended. I had been sitting in a cramped position, elbow to elbow with other people. Besides the dampness, the sand grains on the floor dug into my ankles, adding to the discomfort.


Then, relief! The final ceremony 


Oh, but what is this? 


Two women were worshiping the mystic with a huge fire lamp. They lit camphor on a tray and waved it before her, standing on either side, as priests do in a temple. And the mystic was sitting quietly, eyes closed, her white sari drawn over her head, covering her face. The single jewel on her nose ring shimmered in the dark.


This is too much, I thought. She is just human. Why worship a human being, like me? 


And then it happened.


As soon as this thought hit me, she lifted the sari from her face, opened her eyes, turned and looked straight into my eyes. 


I felt a jolt in my heart. Like an electric shock. 


There was no way she could have heard me thinking. It was dark inside the hall except for the lamp. I was about 70 feet from her. How could she pick me out from the crowd of hundreds. My mind was in an noncomprehending whirl.


The rest of the time, bewildered thoughts raced through me.


Some time earlier, I had read Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahamsa Yogananda. The book described many incredible, supranormal feats of Yogis. I had never dreamt that I would witness one of them. Was this one such incident? I was dazed.

The time for darshan came. People stood in two queues, men and women on either side, and went up to her one by one. Most of them were HIndus, but there were also a few Christians and Moslems, as their different style of dressing revealed.


I could not bring myself to go near her. I feared she might expose all of my thoughts.


I resolved to meet her only after changing myself, undergoing a personal transformation.


This signaled a ten year interlude in my life which exposed me to many similar experiences, teaching me that what we see and experience, is not so solid after all.

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Friday, February 22, 2013

What We are Doing to The World

This is an island in the Pacific ocean, 2000 km from the nearest coast.
Nobody lives here, only birds and yet ...............

Every one of us must see this film...Please..please.. do not throw anything into the sea. 



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Wednesday, December 12, 2012

How to Turn Every Action into a Meditation


 When we discover the peace and joy of meditation, we may often find ourselves in a quandary. We may want to keep enjoying the soothing meditation sessions, and feel reluctant to get back to the chores of life. 

For many of us, meditation is restricted to the time we spend exclusively on the meditation mat, doing our specific mediation practice. This makes us rush along other routine activities as if they were just impediments, unpleasant chores to get out of the way, so that we can spend time doing what we like. People who enjoy doing 'some' things but do not enjoy the numerous unavoidable chores in between, they also try to preform those duties just to get them out of the way-it could be cleaning your work space, washing your car, exercising, organizing your home, and so on. Even socializing can seem like an unavoidable chore sometimes -- that we have to do for the sake of keeping relationships at a functional level.

This attitude is very detrimental to the quality of life that we live and our experiences on a day-to-day basis. It won't help meditation either. Let's see how to sort this out to our advantage.

Meditation is not just the sitting practice

There are many reasons for trying to rush and dispense with our routine chores. Primarily it is the concern with self. When I return from office, I feel that I am tired and that I need to unwind. I want to watch my favorite TV program. When my little daughter comes and tries to chat with me, I want to get her out of the way as soon as possible. I turn a half ear to her, not really giving her my time.

When someone else does this to us, we can really feel hurt. It hurts relationships in the end. A sort of futility creeps into the person whom we ignore, albeit unwittingly.

Chores can also help us meditate better

It would be better if we recognized that tiny, everyday chores also contribute to our general performance and happiness. If you are a meditator, you can use these chores to improve your meditation. Even if you do not meditate, you can use every action-whether routine or special, to improve the quality of your life.

How to improve quality of life using every action

You use the same tool for performing every action: your mind. It is the indispensable tool for all actions. In turn, every action and every thought affect the performance of your mind. Thus, when we habitually rush through our daily chores, our minds would not be so well equipped to perform specialized actions. It can become a habit. We might want to rush even while conversing, which can affect our relationships. It could make it difficult for us to acknowledge our emotions, which is important to find peace. It could also affect meditation in the end-when the initial novelty passes over, meditation can also become a chore. 


Solution: Be present in every action

The tradition of Zen stresses upon being in the present moment. Other religions do not specially elaborate on this, but a study of the lives of spiritual teachers in other traditions shows this principle in action.

Being in the present helps us to do every action effectively. It helps us to avoid collecting emotional baggage. Being present and observing negative emotions, helps reduce their sway over us. Without struggling with the negativity, we can be free of it.

More and more people are discovering the importance of being present in the here and now. Eckhart Tolle elaborates on this in his groundbreaking work "The Power of Now".

Living in the present empowers you to handle life situations. Life happens in the moment. There are no textbook solutions to every life situation. Understanding how to live in this moment helps you tackle the unexpected challenges life throws at you, and to really enjoy the journey.

This means being present in your every experience, continually bringing back your attention to the current task. As most people have not tried to cultivate the mind, it may wander off frequently. Training for the most part consists of bringing back your attention when you realize it has wandered. If you are listening to a friend, you need to bring back yourself when your attention wanders off. It means applying brakes to yourself when you feel like butting in and finishing sentences. It means being aware of what is happening within us-the emotions, the thoughts, and the restlessness. When someone offends us, we become aware of the unpleasant emotion. Rather than focus on the person responsible or the incident, let us first notice our unpleasantness. Observing it calmly, you will see it resolves itself. Counting the breaths helps to retain calmness. 

Does this contradict existing religions?

 It does not. When I first learnt of living in the NOW, there was a lot of confusion about what it meant: should I leave everything in my current life? Should I give up my aims, goals, and aspirations? Did it mean I should live impulsively doing what I felt like? There are incidents in the lives of Zen masters where they seemingly flouted convention in a shocking way.

We need not imitate the external. What happens outside is a natural continuation of our internal life. We only need to continue performing our usual actions, but in a mindful way. Change will be inspired.
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Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Your Future is Here...

Isn't it strange that one moment merges into the next..
That this moment turns into the next moment..
This moment is the next hour, the next day, month, and year..
It also metamorphoses into the next birth...
What you say, think, and do now determines your future...
More than Genetics and Probability
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Sunday, November 18, 2012

Can We See Ram and Other Gods?

Hinduism has more than 330 million gods and goddesses in its ancient mythological lore. Ram, Lakshman, Sita, Krishna, Siva, and Durga, are some of the well known gods. Rational thinkers question the existence of these beings who are supposed to be invisible to human eyes. There are incidents of believers being able to see the gods Krishna and Ram. Most people rubbish these stories of visions as hallucinations of weak minds.

However, what if such a vision occurred to a non-believer, somebody from another faith? What if he  recorded the incident in the gazette of the British government?

Such an experience did occur to Lt.Col.Pierce, who was the British Collector of Chingleput district in Tamil Nadu. He recorded it officially and it is available for scrutiny in the Madras Gazetter, 18th century.

This is the story: Lt.Col.Pierce was conscientious in his duties. One year, the district in his charge, Chingleput, reeled under the onslaught of heavy monsoon rains. There were fears that the bund that held the irrigation tank of the Madurantakam lake would give way.

The night of the flood, Lt.Col.Pierce stood a few metres away from the bund, worrying about the fate of the village if the worst happened. Thousands of lives would be lost and property destroyed. And there was no way he could get it repaired that night in the torrential rain.

Madurantakam lake in Google maps. The town is marked A.
Madurantakam in India's map.
He remembered the story of the locals about their diety Ram always answering their heartfelt prayers. Ram was the god they worshiped in the village's Sri Erikatha Ramar temple (the temple stands today, and is visible in Google maps). Ardently, he wished their stories were true. He promised that if Ram protected the bund and it withstood the rain that night, he would get the temple renovated.


Suddenly, he noticed two effulgent figures carrying bows and arrows, walking up and down the bund. The bund survived that night. The next day, in keeping with his promise, Pierce started the renovation of the temple.

Even today, a plaque stands in the Divine Mother's shrine with an engraving of the British collector's contribution.


(Source:http://www.thehindu.com/opinion/open-page/even-the-devout-wont-be-spared/article4106333.ece)


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Sunday, October 28, 2012

Stop Searching, Start Affirming

My friend why do you keep searching on the internet
It doesn't have all the answers
It can confuse you with its clamorous demand for attention
What you search for
Is not on the internet, not outside at all
It is inside, inside you
For once, close your eyes
Feel your breath
Start affirming what you want to be
That you are
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Wednesday, October 17, 2012

I Want to Laugh....But...

Its 5 a.m. I want to laugh. But people are sleeping all around. What do I do? Just watch what this man does. By the way he is Dr.Madan Kataria, founder of Laugher therapy.


Below, a laughter group in full swing:

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Friday, October 12, 2012

How I Overcame Perfectionism (Almost)

Millions of people all over the globe fail to realize their potential because of perfectionism. Their standards are impossibly high. For them it's either a 10 out of a 10, or nothing else.

When I started blogging a few years back, I had just a trickle of visitors. Gradually, it grew, over the years. Some of the readers were following my posts. It gave a unique high to see people from all over the world visiting here. Experienced bloggers will scoff at this, that there is nothing special in it.

But to me, the increase in traffic did a wrong turn: I started writing lesser and lesser. I was afraid if my posts would match up to my readers' expectations.

And Rewriting. That was monstrous. It was such a pain that it almost turned me off writing.

There were so many rules of good writing: active voice, shorter sentences, second person, larger vocabulary, the right words,... I started feeling bogged down by the rules.

It was also hard not to be apprehensive of others' responses when you are writing on not-so-popular topics like enlightenment and spirituality.

The number of drafts started to pile up. They were just not good enough.

I had been struck by the 'perfectionism' virus.

Overcoming perfectionism- a simple cure

Luckily for me, it did not last for long. It came with the realization that to write without enjoying the process was a waste of time. How does a blog's traffic build up in the first place? Because the blog articles become better:
Bad > average > good > better > still better > ...

But how does the writing improve ? Because the blogger keeps on writing articles, good or bad.

If I did not write anything, nothing would change. The writing would not improve. Beginning bloggers' only hope of improving their writing is to write more and more, make more mistakes, and learn from them.

Talk about the 10,000 hour rule for achieving proficiency.

I was still in the process of falling in love with writing, and needed o stick with it. Rewriting would come later.

If you find scruffily written posts, you will have to excuse me. I am just a beginner, learning to feel my way around.

I've decided to just write--no matter what, good or bad.

Question: "What if the traffic goes down?"

Answer: If I keep writing, and have fun at it, hopefully my readers also would enjoy it. They definitely wouldn't enjoy pieces written just to fit grammar rule books.

So here it goes again,...just playing with ideas on the key board.

The cure for perfectionism seems to be: Being satisfied with low expectations. To not worry about others' expectations. To try new things and have fun. Making mistakes and learning in the process. 

This way you can only do one thing - Get better and better.

Yes, I didn't overcome perfectionism, that'd be another perfectionistic goal!
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Thursday, October 11, 2012

4 Reasons Why Numbered Lists are Popular Articles

Article writers constantly try to improve their craft. They would want every one of their articles to be a hit,  if not a viral, on the internet.

Numbered list is a popular article format that keeps readers on your page.Essentially such an article has a headline like "20 ways to increase the mileage of your car" or "100 ways to be more assertive"...
If the information is solid and well presented, readers will always like this type of article.

Why are numbered lists so popular?

There are many reasons:
  1. They give the impression that you have enough knowledge on the subject to compile a list.
  2. You have conducted thorough research to compile a list.
  3. The promised number keeps the reader reading till the end because he/she has to get all the 'techniques'.
  4. A numbered list conveys an impression of order and organization, rather than a hapless concoction.
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Wednesday, October 10, 2012

The Reasons for Google's Success-Could be Yours Too!

Google's phenomenal success is self-evident. 'To google' has become a verb in most languages. For millions of net users like you and me, Google is an intimate part of our lives. Even though the company has a profit making motive like all other companies, the way they do it sets a model for effective business.

The key to Google's success is that they realize the value of their customers: you and me. Adsense publishers might debate that point. Well, Google does treat its customers far better than most other companies.

Apart from revolutionizing global information access, Google constantly strives to improvise  users' experiences with all of its products.

Google facilitates your success. For instance, if you have good writing skills, you can start a successful blog on blogger for free. You can even make some pocket money on your blog using Google's Adsense. For zero investment of money!

Google also constantly improvises its products to enrich the users' experiences. As an example, Blogger offers a wide range of apps that enable you to sell even third party products (like that of Amazon) on your  blog.

Google's home page offers a flabbergasting range of free facilities for your information, business promotion, and entertainment. Here are a few samples:

Information products

Google search- The ubiquitous Google.
Google images/video: Image/video specific search.
Google maps-Locate places on any country and get routes between any number of destinations; plan your trip. Even public transport timings are available.
Google news- Get the latest news from around the world.
Google translate -65 languages and growing !

Business promotion

Google documents - Store your documents online. Convert between formats.
Google sites- Get a free site
Google calendar-Mark and schedule your appointments online. Share with associates.
Google mobile-  Make your phone your wallet, find great shops near you.

Entertainment

Google play- A vast variety of games and apps to choose from.
Panoromio- Enjoy beautiful photographs from all over the world by top photographers.

There are many more products, most of which are free. Check them out at http://www.google.co.in/intl/en/about/products/

Google labs

Google used to have an online playground called Google labs. Here you could play around with novel ideas that Google was experimenting. Most of its popular products like Maps, News etc originated here. Unfortunately, Google stopped labs effective July 2011.

Google labs was a significant reason for its success, for it highlighted the company's creative side. Who knows how many more innovative products like Maps would have been born out of Labs!

Google says it is about focus and prioritization on the existing opportunities. However, they seem to have missed the point that opportunities are made by us. Maps, Docs, and Reader were born in the Labs.

Mimicking Google success lesson

So Google's lesson here for us is to focus on the customer-first and last. Identify your customers and keep thinking how to make life easier and more rewarding for them. It is the old lesson of adding more and more value to customers.

However, was shutting down Google labs a customer focused decision or one based on cost effectiveness ? I feel Google has departed from its 'fun' way of doing things here. Lets see how this fares in the long run.
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Wednesday, October 03, 2012

On Writing - From the King of American Fiction

I had long wanted to look at popular fiction works dissected as it were, under the microscope. I wanted to understand how successful fiction works, how characters develop and dialogues keep our attention drawn into the plot. It was a task quite difficult to perform alone. That is, until I chanced upon "On Writing" by Mr.Stephen King.

King's book has many detailed dissections of popular novels. It is a good resource if you aspire to be a fiction writer. A must-have.

This book has an unexpected bonus: It lucidly explains tricky issues of the English language and its effective usage.

Mr.Stephen King is a prolific writer of fiction, predominantly horror, and many of his books are best sellers. One did not expectd him to produce a work that would elucidate the principles of good writing, but he  shows himself to be a teacher extraordinaire. This is because he uses his powers of vividity of expression to convey ideas. Not many course authors use vivid images so that the reader/student gets the idea immediately and firmly.

Consider the Writer's toolbox that King conjures up. He first draws a clear, vivid picture of his uncle's toolbox that he used for carpentry works around the house:

...The toolbox was what we called a big ’un. It had three levels, the top two removable, all three containing little drawers as cunning as Chinese boxes.It was handmade, of course. Dark wooden slats were bound together by tiny nails and strips of brass. The lid was held down by big latches; to my child’s eye they looked like the latches on a giant’s lunchbox. Inside the top was a silk lining, rather odd in such a context and made more striking still by the pattern, which was pinkish-red cabbage roses fading into a smog of grease and dirt.

On the sides were great big grabhandles. You never saw a toolbox like this one for sale at Wal-Mart or Western Auto, believe me. When my uncle first got it, he found a brass etching of a famous Homer painting—I believe it was The Undertow—lying in the bottom.

One summer day I helped Uncle Oren replace a broken screen on the far side of the house. I might have been eight or nine at the time. I remember following him with the replacement screen balanced on my head, like a native bearer in a Tarzan movie. He had the toolbox by the grabhandles, horsing it along at thigh level...

Having painted the picture to stay firmly in the reader's mind, King goes on to convey his core message, which is of a totally different field:

I want to suggest that to write to your best abilities, it behooves you to construct your own toolbox and then build up enough muscle so you can carry it with you. Then, instead of looking at a hard job and getting discouraged, you will perhaps seize the correct tool and get immediately to work.
The toolbox had three levels. I think that yours should have at least four. You could have five or six, I suppose, but there comes a point where a toolbox becomes too large to be portable and thus loses its chief virtue. You’ll also want all those little drawers for your screws and nuts and bolts, but where you put those drawers and what you put in them . . .well, that’s your little red wagon, isn’t it? You’ll find you have most of the tools you need already, but I advise you to look at each one again as you load it into your box. Try to see each one new, remind yourself of its function, and if some are rusty (as they may be if you haven’t done this seriously in awhile), clean them off...

Common tools go on top. The commonest of all, the bread of writing, is vocabulary. In this case, you can happily pack what you have without the slightest bit of guilt and inferiority. As the whore said to the bashful sailor, “It ain’t how much you’ve got, honey, it’s how you use it.”  

Some writers have enormous vocabularies; ...


Pretty ingenious way to teach, so that readers can absorb information effortlessly, isn't it? From the way he's put it, it'd be hard to forget the nuances of using language in writing, fiction or non-fiction...

You can have copies of On writing at Amazon:
 and for kindle, at 
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Tuesday, August 07, 2012

Instant Gratification vs. Emotional Involvement


Grow Inches! Wow your girl! Get more partners!
These are just some of the headlines screaming at me from my spam box. I am impelled now to select them all and click delete, because promises of transforming me into a performing animal sound disgusting.

Amusingly, our media, entertainment and advertising industries, and even literature, celebrate adultery,  debauchery, and sexual deviation (Lolita, Lady Chatterley's lover?). Even a popular language text (Norman Lewis) has given grammar examples like Let's philander! Just to show how deep this notion runs in society, of having to tout the image of a sexual conquistador.

While admitting the racy thrill that such encounters provide, and the fizzy joys of tasting varied dishes, a sadder truth awaits such pursuers. No we are not talking here about STDs or shame or career or financial losses.

Human beings are body, mind, intelligence, feelings, and,...

Whether you believe it or not, man is a complex structure comprising multiple faculties. The sexual part is just one of them, and it is a faculty at a lower level.

You realise this when these encounters fail to satisfy you at a deeper, refined emotional level. Man also has higher faculties in his being which also seek expression and experience-such as caring for others, sharing, broader vision, love, sacrifice, truth, faithfulness...These operate at the level of your heart and above. When we do something for others, we have stirring feelings in our hearts. Hence 'felt love in the heart'. While praying devoutly to a superior power, we feel energies in our throat. Hence 'choked with tears of devotion'.

As man goes on trying to satisfy the easily available sexual thrills, he feels emptiness and pain within, which implies that his higher faculties are starving. The nagging pain expresses itself in many ways-boredom and disillusionment with life are some of them.

People may lust prospective attractive sexual partners, but the sexual encounters ensuing from them involve great amounts of emotional strain in having to live double lives. Covering up the truth takes a toll.

A committed relationship is an opportunity to learn and expand. We will get to know our own virtues and vices. We will learn to adapt, adjust, and share. You will also learn to appreciate the qualities of the human being who shares your life-in spite of their faults. (Faults are an essential part of being human.)  Thus relationships automatically pave the way to exercise your higher faculties.

However, in a sexual fling, it is only the physical body that is involved, with just the bare minimum of etiquette-that too as part of 'hunting strategies'. We would like to think the courtesy and consideration they show is genuine-but we know the reality too well. This amounts to using and making a travesty of the higher values to satisfy lower cravings. It is doubly damaging. Disorientation, disquiet, illness---the endless problems seem to come out of a pandora's box. Not long after, the heart starts aching for love and understanding.

Committed relationships may not be a panacea for all our problems. They are rather a learning opportunity, something like a school where we learn various qualities. A mirror that shows us how we actually are.

Meditation is the panacea by which we can heal ourselves.
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Thursday, July 26, 2012

Awareness, Relaxation, and Focus

Black Neck

What is relaxation ? Is it just always hanging out like a limp cat ? Does it make you feel fresh and energized?
Or wanting to take more rest?

People try to relax and enjoy by partying and indulging. Afterwards, they have to cope with hangovers, headaches, and feeling wasted.

Probably the reason why we do not enjoy our relaxation is that the mind is not resting. Only the body is resting. It is a bit strange that one needs to be aware of the mind's movements to really enjoy stillness and relaxation. It is called Awareness, and it does not require a physical effort.

Awareness

One cannot do away with awareness, in any moment of one's life. Awareness of our thoughts, actions, and words is necessary for sane and successful living. Awareness helps us see our mistakes and correct them. It saves us from being corrected by others. I am not saying it is bad to be corrected by others, but isn't it painful when we could have avoided the situation? For instance, to receive traffic tickets for careless driving habits is unnecessary.

Focusing

Focusing is collecting the habitually dissipated thoughts and bearing them all down on a specific object. The object of the focus can be anything. However, if one is focusing on sensations, one should take care not to be drawn off by the sensations aroused by focusing. Focus is essential for achieving success, whether spiritual or material.

The fun thing is that it is possible for anybody to fulfill his desires, using a focused mind. We can satisfy most, if not ALL of our desires if we have the concentration to focus all of our energies on them.

Relaxation

Generally relaxation is thought of as some kind of spacing out, letting go, whatever...being chilled out...hey what's the need to be so regimental and spartan...take it easy. But what actually happens when we space out, is that our thoughts and actions go awry, we do not know where we are going, and life goes by in a blur. We may not make the right choices. This is not real relaxation.

In relaxation, our body and mind are relaxed, but this does not mean a slackened state of incapability. In static relaxation, our body will be still, and muscle tension will be greatly reduced, making actions difficult. This happens in deep states of sitting meditation or special relaxation exercises like Shavasan or Corpse pose. However, to be relaxed in daily life means to be absent of unwanted tensions in the body and mind, while at the same time being poised to perform actions.

Relaxation is as important as Focus, because focusing without relaxing is dangerous. One can become strung out, obsessive, imbalanced, and out of touch with reality. Athletes and businessmen who pushed themselves to the extremes, have had to pay the price, often fatally. A state of relaxed focus is ideal. This is a matter of constant practice and contemplation. Observing the processes in Nature can help us to gain an understanding of this state. The Sun, the Moon, the Earth and other heavenly bodies are always working. The whole of Nature is in movement. But it is a graceful flow without hurry. Also, Nature has her own moments of repose, when everything is still.

For effective relaxation, one has to also maintain awareness along with it. In awareness, tension automatically dissolves.

Using a combination of Awareness, Relaxation, and Focus, we can objectively view each moment of our life,   take stock of our emotions, reflect on them, and choose not to react but to respond appropriately to life situations. Maintaining awareness can seem like a chore in the beginning. One need not cling to situations, but take them as they come by. That is, if you lose awareness of a moment, do not try to go back and catch it, just make use of the moments that keep coming. 

Step by step, taking appropriate actions, we can  reach our material goals and also enjoy the process.
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Tuesday, July 24, 2012

They Gave and Got Rich: Andre Agassi

Andre Agassi, the tennis great of the last part of the 20th century, has been described as the last of the great Americans.


Agassi ruled tennis courts like no other, however he had a greater calling: social welfare activities. His charitable and philanthropic efforts are not however, as well known as his tennis court exploits.

Here is a brief summary of his philanthropic contributions:

  • Founded the Andre Agassi Charitable Association for Las Vegas's youth.
  • Agassi has been the most charitable and socially committed tennis player.
  • Founded the Boys & Girls Club that trains more than 2,000 children every year in tennis, basketball and athletics.
  • Founded the Andre Agassi College Preparatory Academy. It is a tuition-free charter school for at-risk children in the Las Vegas area.
  • Started Child Haven,  a  residence for abused and neglected children, the only one of its kind in Clark County. 
  • Donated $720,000 towards the construction of a Cottage for Medically Fragile Children. This center is for developmentally handicapped children and children quarantined for infectious diseases.

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Sunday, July 15, 2012

How to Use Affirmations to Get Results



Affirmations are a sure-fire method of bringing about major changes in your life. The changes can be material-having more wealth, better living conditions, and fulfilling other desires. The change can also be personal-transformation of character, making or dropping habits, and other goals.

You can find voluminous material on how to use affirmations all over the net. Here we will focus on how to make them effective.

Your subconscious is an asset you are born with. It is somewhat like a personal servant who carries out your every beck and call. The only caution is that you need to keep an eye on it and give directions in the proper way. Isn't this similar to managing your domestic help or servant?

Affirmations are the directions that you give to your subconscious. If the subconscious must receive your directions and act upon them, you need to follow these points carefully:
  • Once you have finalized the affirmation, do not change it.
  • Write it everyday. If you are repeating it verbally, do it regularly.
  • While writing/repeating the affirmation, be calm, focused, and serious. Preferably, meditate for some time before affirming.
  • Trust the subconscious: do not keep checking for results. As mentioned above, calm, regular repetition is the key.
  • An indispensable affirmation to go with all programs of personal development: Day by day, in every respect, I am getting better and better. It lifts you up even during temporary setbacks.
  • The affirmation must be beneficial to you and not harmful to anybody else. Intentions to manipulate or harm will have repercussions. 
  • Lastly, no change is permanent. Affirmations need to be repeated everyday, even after achieving success in personal development.
Photo credit: Muhammad Mahdi Karim
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Sunday, July 08, 2012

In Retrospect...Spend Time Wisely

Most bloggers would have nurtured dreams of making it big with Adsense. Google has provide a free platform, all you have to do is set up your blog, set up the ads and write away...and wait for the traffic to come clicking in..so that the checks start flying in...


I too subscribed to this notion...that is until I had a look at the AdSense earnings of top sites and my own. Here are the figures:
The average income from Adsense is $1 per 1000 page views. This can go lower, till $.007. A site like www.whatshouldbetchescallme.tumblr.com having around 3,000,000 visitors also has the same average. Doing the math, the net adsense earnings for such a site comes to $3000 a month.


How much time would a blog take to come to the million page views a month range? Not overnight. And how would that be achieved? By good content. How can you generate content? By working on your craft. It will not happen if you spent your time experimenting with ads with speculations of striking it rich with them.


AdSense and other online advertising are at best side revenues. It cannot be a major source of income. Creative people would do better at developing their main skill (writing, building sites, painting, whatever...) rather than spend time tweaking ads.
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Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Overcoming Pain by Helping Others


Nobody likes pain. Yet, all of us will have experienced painful experiences that we wanted to get rid of, as soon as possible. Various religions, Yoga and modern techniques like Hypnotism advocate several  techniques for the same. It is a necessary technique for each of us, as life is unpredictable and one can come up against any situation any time.

I was also mortally afraid of pain, especially physical. I marveled at people who faced it and emerged triumphant.

However, an experience opened up to me a much-unexpected path to transcend pain.

It was the month of May in Kerala, India. I was visiting a relative and I had to take an old lady to the temple. There was to be a special worship at midday.

We went by car until the temple gate. From there we needed to traverse a stony path that went round the temple to reach the sanctum sanctorum, the inside of the temple.

On placing my bare foot on the stone path, I realized the predicament that I was in. The midday sun blazing overhead had baked the stone slabs so hot that one could not place one's feet on them. The priests themselves used to carry water and throw it forward, and then run along that wet trail, before it dried up. We had taken no such precaution.

I started to run on the stone path, occasionally treading on grass patches, to reach the temple before my feet were completely burned. Then I heard a scream and a yell. It was the old lady. She already had some problems with her gait and now on the hot stone, she was just crying out in agony.

Without thinking, I ran back to her and tried to help her along. I tried to walk her fast, leading over grass patches wherever possible.

She cried all the way. Somehow, we reached the inside of the temple where the worship was going on. Once inside, both of us heaved sighs of relief. I was glad I could help her.

It was then that I noticed a startling fact: I had not experienced any more pain when I started to help her.
Somehow, my helping her had erased the sensation of the burning in my feet. Was it an expansion of consciousness? I do not know.

Looking back, I feel it was an important lesson that I learnt that day:

Helping others helps you overcome your own pains - physical or mental.
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Monday, June 04, 2012

Real Freedom

If I ask you, when you became free, you might answer it as the day on which your country won independence from a dominating foreign power.

Now if you were to ask the people of that foreign power, when they became free, they would probably say: We have always been free. 

But hold on a moment here. Are we really free? Aren't we all being made to dance to the whims of our minds ? May be we are not realizing it.

A thought for having ice cream, in the mind of a 75 kg man makes him get up from his living room and walk to the ice cream parlour two blocks down the street and buy the ice cream. We are all being driven by our desires, which are but thoughts.

It is OK if we are able to choose which thoughts to entertain and which not to. In this way we can direct our life towards our chosen goals.

But when thoughts come at an uncontrollable pace, and we are not able to exercise any restraint over them, then it is a potentially dangerous situation. Many people are not even aware of this, and keep acting on impulses, and this lands them in constant trouble.

So real freedom is being able to control the vagaries of the mind, to master it, instead of being driven by it. Here is an excellent resource for winning freedom from obsessive thoughts:

How to Stop Obsessive Thoughts?



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Thursday, May 31, 2012

How to Have Hope


Hope is the elixir that rejuvenates our personal development program. So often we fall flat in our self development efforts. Failure discourages and we are loath to get up and keep trying. Setting hard and fast goals and rules also makes personal development an unduly discomforting chore-not fun at all.

The environment in which we grew up, and our current situation also is hardly encouraging. This is the reality for most people. How many of your partners, parents, or friends keep on encouraging you after a fall? You are lucky if you have such a support system. For the vast majority of us, the reality is other wise-we become the butt of sarcastic jokes. People already consider us a nutcase for being personal development fans, and one cannot blame them if they take delight in our slips and falls. The reason is obvious: our efforts at transformation are forcing them to face themselves, posing the need for their own change before them.

In these circumstances, we will do well to have an internal support and encouragement system that comforts and gives us hope during our falls. Falls are bound to happen in our journey towards becoming better beings. This internal support system works like a gyroscope mechanism that stabilises itself when upset. Or it is like the magnetic needle that turns around and points back at North, however much it is disturbed.

I have found the following affirmation of immense help in this regard:
                                
                                       Day by day, in every way, I am getting better and better.

I had been trying to get up earlier in the morning and the results were none too encouraging. Affirmations and a daily review diary were the main tools. I used to get depressed and discouraged each time I woke up late.


When I started using the above affirmation by Emily Coue, I noticed changes, even though they were in very small amounts. I am finding myself gradually waking up earlier. Some days I may slip back, but I don't beat myself up; instead I keep repeating the above affirmation. It is best to repeat it just before going to bed at night. It removes the sinking feeling of a failure and replaces it with hope.


I guess the subconscious rewards us for the trust that we place in it. It makes personal transformation easier and enjoyable.
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Tuesday, May 29, 2012

The Need for Focus in Online Writing

Many aspiring writers aim for diverse fields, hoping to make a success in every field. While it is OK to have many goals, online success boils down to this:
  • You are always selling to a market.
  • A market is a group of people with a specific need. You are addressing that need.
  • Your success depends on how well you address this need.
  • One of the best ways to do this is to focus on just one market in a blog /site.
Now imagine you have promoted your site/ blog/ writing in one particular market. That is a promise to the reader and he/she follows the link and visits your online window. If you have stuck to your promise and addressed just that market, your visitor will be satisfied.

But imagine if you sidetracked a bit and decided to do something on a whim: For instance you are maintaining a  personal development blog and have promoted it as such. One day you find something funny (a picture or an article idea) and you like it so much that you decide to post it.

The visitor will be confused when he sees this post on your blog, as he was expecting personal development tips. He is not likely to return.

Thus focusing on your selected niche in a particular site/blog is important for drawing in targeted traffic and for maintaining it.

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