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Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Take Charge of Your Life...or We Will !

If you do not rule yourself, you are asking to be ruled, and you will be.
If you do not manage yourself, you will be managed.
If you do not discipline yourself, you will be disciplined.

If you do not manage your time, somebody else will do it.
If you do not set your own goals, somebody else will do it.
If you do not make your choices this moment, somebody else will.

If you do not think for yourself, somebody else will do it, and not in your best interests.

After all,
you alone can eat to sate your hunger, others cannot !
you alone can breath your breaths, every single one of them !
Then why not think for yourself ?
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Pulling Your Own Strings: Dynamic Techniques for Dealing with Other People and Living Your Life as You ChooseYour Erroneous Zones: Step-by-Step Advice for Escaping the Trap of Negative Thinking and Taking Control of Your LifeWhat to Say When you Talk To YourselfThe Gift of Being Yourself: The Sacred Call to Self-DiscoveryHow to Succeed at Being Yourself: Finding the Confidence to Fulfill Your DestinyMaking a Difference by Being Yourself: Using Your Personality Type to Find Your Life's True PurposeLoving Him without Losing You: How to Stop Disappearing and Start Being YourselfThe Self-Talk SolutionWho Are You Really, and What Do You Want?

Monday, December 07, 2009

Aikido as a De-stresser

Today, dealing with day to day situations and yet enjoying a reservoir of inner peace is challenging enough. Life has built up a frenetic pace, especially in the metro cities. Throw in drugs, terrorism, porn, communal and religious politics - we have a Pandora's box open.

Chasing as we are our dream of material super wealth, when mishap strikes, we are like deer caught in headlights: ill equipped to deal with life's exigencies. Forget about the external issues, how do we handle issues within our families and in our relationships ? The age old tit-for-tat rule reigns even now, and well wishers who come in to resolve disputes end up aggravating them.

We need to equip ourselves to have a balanced perspective on life. We need a poise to be able to deal with life's challenges. Why?

We have to eat for ourselves, breath for ourselves, and pretty much everything else. Why not think for ourselves as well ? Nobody else can do that for us. If they did, even if with the best of intentions, it would be from a skewed view of situations. Only you have the true picture of your life.

Let us see how Aikido's(a Japanese martial art) philosophy can help us in our challenging issues.

Aikido's basic philosophy is non-resistance. It is not just non-resistance: neutralization is a more accurate description. While Christ exhorts us to turn the other cheek to an attacker, Aikido advises to turn your cheek before being hit. in other words, it entails us to maintain a constant alertness.

Aikido does not aim at vanquishing and destroying an opponent. It aims at tuning in to the attacker's energy so that we can harmonize and neutralize it. For this reason there are no attacks practised in Aikido, except for training. Also, fending off an attack, an aikidoka does not look at how it turns out- it is just a deflection of energy of the attack- executed smoothly.

This is in contrast to conventional martial arts where participants aim for a decisive win. The word Aikido in Japanese means the way of Universal Harmony. It was founded by a Japanese martial artist, Ueshiba Morihei. He underwent prolonged training in Jujitsu and Judo before he developed his own unique art, Aikido.

Apart from the physical art, the principles of Aikido can be applied to day to day life situations as well. An excellent example is given by Terry Dobson.

It is about an incident that happened to Dobson while he was learning Aikido in Japan. You can see the essence of Aikido in real life. Please see Terry Dobson for the full story.

This incident demonstrates the secret of how Aikido can help us defuse tensions in real life situations: refuse to yield or fight against the anger in the other person. Instead we neutralize the energy by harmonizing.

In simple words, on a physical level: move in the same direction as the offending energy-push when you are pulled, pull when you are pushed.

Aikido practice has meditation as an important part of it. It is through meditation that one can achieve the thought free state, a prerequisite for seeing things as they are. Through meditation and Aikido practice, practitioners achieve such feats as having irresistible power in hands such that they cannot be stopped etc.

As there is no winning and losing in Aikido, it does not have tournaments either. Perhaps you can say a practitioner loses when he becomes angry.

Suppressing anger is not the way to resolve it. When we maintain a non-critical, non-judgmental awareness of the thoughts and emotions arising in us, they automatically quiet down. The peace that you experience forms an aura around you and transfers to others.
Note: This article was posted on Articlesbase.com on Dec 8, 2009. Link: Here
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Sunday, May 17, 2009

Clear Thinking Can Solve Personal Problems

Understanding a problem incorrectly can lead us into all sorts of side tracks, wasting enormous amounts of time, effort and money.

I will narrate an experience that illustrates the various errors that can happen in analysing a problem. A proper analysis can present a simple solution that was right there under your nose all the while.

The incident happened around my mini stereo system. It developed a snag. It had two small speakers and one big speaker. The big speaker was fixed in a cabin. One of the small speakers stopped producing any sound. Well. Not totally silent. It would come on and off, with just some hissing noises in between.

For a long time I thought the speaker was gone, and blamed the company for robbing me. I tried to pry open the speaker, naively hoping that the problem was with some wire connection and that I could set it right myself.(I was no electronics engineer and had no experience with repairing gadgets.) The speaker frame was a molded whole and there was no way to open it. I thought I would have to buy a new one. But would a single speaker be available ? Would the company insist on my buying a new set ?

Then I happened to switch the speaker channels, just to test and found that there was nothing wrong with the speaker. It was only one channel that was not responding. If I connected the speaker to the other channel, it did produce sound. That was a relief. Now I did not have to change the small speaker.

But the channel came out of the Main speaker cabin(It housed the amplifier). Now I had to open the cabin. I resolved to make an attempt, before showing it to an expert. In fact, one of my acquaintances, a cd shop owner, had offered to service it. But I hated to lug the big box across the street to his shop.

Opening the cabin was easy. I used a pocket knife, improvised as a screwdriver. Peering inside, I could see a PCB( Printed Circuit Board) with a lot of small devices on it. Capacitors, transistors, ICs…? what the heck was all that ? I have’nt had to deal with them ever, since college. I strained my eyes to find a piece of wire pulling on which, the sound would come back. Nope. Everything was screwed and soldered properly; there were no loose ends in sight.

I guessed I had no option but to take it to my friend for his expert opinion. He should have. All day he sits around DVD players, TVs and Stereo systems.

Then the break came which was a sort of Aha moment for me.(I seriously believe I might have awakened to “The Zen of speaker tweaking.”)

The speaker had been coming to life off and on while I moved the cable which carried the signals from my computer to the speaker system.There! That meant the channels were being seperated in that cable itself. Otherwise it would not have affected a single channel. It would have affected both channels.

Now I knew that the problem lay in this cable. It was broken at some point along its one and a half metre length. All that I had to do was get a new cable.

Moral : Before attempting to repair audio equipment, do check the various connecting cables. Do it safe. Follow the manufacturer’s instructions.

Bigger moral: Often a problem is not as complicated as it seems to be. Just relax and observe. The solution will show itself.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Are you going to finish strong ?

It is amazing how much we can accomplish if we focused on what we have, instead of lamenting about misfortunes. This is what I learnt from the man in this stunning video.

Friday, May 01, 2009

The Plain Miracle

This is about a fact that all of us forget in the rush of life, what no one appreciates until it's too late: It's a great miracle to be alive and to love each other.

We don't need to go through a tragedy to realise this fact. Let us express our love to our near and dear ones while we still can.

I had to write this post after I chanced upon this site by Andreas Ramos. As I read the letters, I could not stop the tear drops.

Andreas is a well known author. His first hand account of the fall of the Berlin Wall has been published in many books like The Berlin Wall and The Cold War: Chronicles of America's Wars.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Experiences with The Secret

Here is a gift :

Click on the title of this post and you can read through the real experiences of people who have used The Secret.

The Secret does not say anything new. But it expresses the Law of Attraction and other principles of Abundant Living in a most effective manner, so that it is indelibly printed in our minds.

I had read the Science of Getting Rich(from which Rhonda Byrne gathered the inspiration for The Secret) years ago, but it did not click in my mind. Now
when I watch the Secret, it all appears so easy and possible.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

What goes into our ear can influence our actions

A study by scientists on teenagers has proved that teen kids who habitually hear degrading lyrics are more likely to indulge in under age sex. This is a case for the principle that our behaviour can be influenced by what we habitually hear. If that is true, then this principle also holds good: If we constantly hear about what we desire to be, i.e. a better and transformed image of ourselves, that also will materialise ! In other words, habitually listening to self help cds, self talk cds, hypnosis cds and wholesome songs will grant us the desired result. Which means self talk that we give ourselves will also give concrete results.

Here is the link to the report.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Overcoming the recession and changing it into an upturn

The recession has been in for quite a while now. It has become a reality to people who have lost their jobs. Let's see if a change of perspective can do any good in overcoming it. If it does on an individual scale, it definitely can help in overcoming on an international level also. It's not possible to wish it away. Yet, it does seem to be man-made for a large part. I remember a real incident narrated by Norman Vincent Peale in one of his books.

It was the Great depression of the 1930s. In a remote American village an old man ran a hotel. His business was good, he had a plentiful clientele, for he was a cheerful person, always happy to serve. His cafe was always bustling with people.It was a meeting point for the villagers to catch up on the latest developments in town.

His son was educated, and worked in an office in one of the big cities.When the recession struck, his firm was one of the first to close. He came home.

Things were not as he had expected to be at the village. He did not see glum faces, he did not hear grim discussions of tumbling markets and closing businesses. On the contrary, everyone was having a good time, and his father's hotel was always full with merry villagers.

This cannot be, he thought. Perhaps they had not heard of the recession, and he felt he should inform them.

So he told his father about it and how it was playing havoc in the country. We had better be careful, it can pounce on us anytime.

The father listened. His son was college educated and must be having better sense. He thought it would be prudent to go by what he said. In time the customers too heard and came to believe the tale of the recession.

Gone were the days of cheer and merry business. Everyone started preparing for the recession. Few people now came to the hotel.

It wore a desolate look. In no time, it closed down.

The recession had finally arrived at the village (!)

Note : Although you may argue this point, a recent incident in the Indian stock market supports this theory. It is about the Reliance group which is owned by the Ambanis, one of the richest families in the world. Before they split, the Reliance group stocks were booming. Then the brothers Mukesh Ambani and Anil Ambani parted ways to establish their own empires. Immediately the Reliance stocks came tumbling down. It had nothing to do with reality. It was the news that caused the panic, as in the above story. So a little faith can work wonders, and boost up your personal success. Many individual successes can revive the economy of a nation!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

The Ultimate Technique for Success

The most effective and reliable personal development tool : Yourself. Your body, your thoughts, your words. Do it by yourself : through Self-talk, Free writing(stream of consciousness writing), Self-suggestions, Exercise, Meditation,....

External aids like books, CDs and seminars are only props or route maps. They require conditions-electric power, visibility, money etc. But when you internalise their content and start DOING it, you are transforming yourself.

I realised this after reading The Secret. It held a mirror to me and showed where the correction was to be done: my thoughts. I have to overhaul my thoughts- be aware of my thoughts, state of mind...And that is a 24 hour job.
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The Ultimate Success SECRET -RevisitedYour Wish Is Your Command - CD Series + MP3 PlayerThe 7 Ultimate Success SecretsThe Ultimate Secret Total Success Formula Exposed!

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Vipassana for sanity




Can we see prisoners as lesser beings?

The line that separates them and us is very thin. When people do not maintain awareness of their thoughts and actions, anything can happen.

Thousands of prisoners at India's once-dreaded Tihar jail did the Vipassana course initiated by Ms.Kiran Bedi. Many of them say that had they known Vipassana earlier, they wouldnt have been here now.

Here are photos taken from Vipassana courses conducted at Tihar Jail, New Delhi. The end of the ten-day course witnesses many dramatic scenes.You can see a prisoner crying on the shoulders of a police officer, after doing the Vipassana course.

Image Copyright:
Vipassana Research Institute, Igatpuri, India.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

The value of everything

I had a friend during my college days who was a voracious reader. He used to read heavy books. I remember him buying Churchill's complete speeches at a book fair. I was incredulous: How would he read them ? Makarand was blind.

At that time we (his classmates) took turns reading the books to him. Later he was gifted a software which helped him read alone. He could scan the text and feed it into his computer. The software read out the entire book to him.

When I heard of how much struggle he went through just to read a book, I was struck with a sense of shock at how people gifted with fully functioning organs spend their days. They have fully functioning eyes, ears, tongue, hands, legs and brain.

Have we ever stopped to realise the value of the gifts given us? And how we are using them ?

Friday, August 29, 2008

The two-rupee miracle that kicked my smoking forever

NOTE: This is an inspirational true story. It happened during the author(Ashis Kumar Gupta) visit to a temple in India. Well, it was not the diety in the temple who did it, but who knows ? Who has seen a diety to recognise one? Read on...


SOME years ago, on the last leg of the Rajasthan tour, we were headed towards Pushkar.Pushkar is famous for its Brahma temple. Pushkar is the only city in India(and the world) with a Brahma temple.

As we neared the desolate area, sandy landscape made way for people dressed in a riot of colours.Typical of rajasthani villagers.

We reached the Brahma temple, where a serpentine queue awaited the darshan. While some from our group of friends went looking for a ‘quick’ way to get entry, others tried to use the opportunity for a cup of tea, a cigarette or paan(something like chewing tobacco). Like other temple cities, we were chased by beggars for alms on every street.

As my friend and I lit a cigarette standing at a nearby paan shop, a grey-haired, spectacled and wrinkled old beggar woman approached us, leaning on a long stick. She wanted one rupee to help her buy lunch. We looked at her in distaste and refused to oblige. At that moment, a friend called to ask us to hurry up for darshan. We crushed the cigarette with our shoes, I took my son in my arms and asking my wife to follow, left for the temple gates.

Behind me,I could overhear the woman say that, “these young men will burn more than a rupee for their bad habit, but will never give a rupee to a hungry person.” I left the place nonchalantly. However, during the darshan, her remarks resounded in my ears. I began wondering if there was some truth to what she had said.

On our return, I found the old woman standing near a shop. I beckoned to her and she came promptly. I asked her who would give her lunch for a rupee. She replied, “At an alms house. It's virtually free, but they have stipulated this token amount for each meal. We have to deposit the amount before lunch.” I gave my son two rupees to give it to her. Before accepting the money, she promptly took my son's hand in her own and embraced him in her emaciated arms with love and affection, ran her fingers through his hair and prayed to the Almighty for his well being and prosperity. Tears of happiness rolled down her cheeks.

I had never witnessed such heartfelt blessings and could never have believed that two rupees(about 5 US cents) could reflect such unbounded joy in a person's eyes.

About an hour later, as we were returning to the hotel after lunch, we found the old woman having her lunch sitting on a stone under the shade of a tree. A little girl in a dirty, torn dress sat beside her, who also she was feeding. I went up to her and asked, “Amma(Mother), who is that girl?”. She replied, “Sir, this poor girl is new in the city and yet to learn how to beg a rupee from the tourists. She couldn't manage a rupee today. So, I have brought lunch for her out of the money you gave for dinner. Don’t worry, God will arrange for my dinner.”

I was astonished at her generosity and could not utter a single word. It was a true lesson. The woman who was not sure whether she would be able to arrange a rupee for her dinner did not hesitate to feed a hungry girl. Her remarks were correct and the proof of how the cost of two cigarettes could feed two hungry people was before me.

For the last time, I tossed the half-burnt cigarette and crushed it under my shoes. I got the strength to quit the habit at that moment. No ‘statutory warning’ on the cigarette packet could teach me the lesson that the beggar woman did that day.



- Ashis Kumar Gupta-



Thanks to Sushanta for forwarding this article.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Affirmation music to the rescue !

The idea has been there for quite a while.It was that no one had taken the initiative to make it real. Not just initiative, there had to be a combination of talents: musical, composing, internet technology and team play. Plus, a good intention. An intention to really benefit people.

Ken Laderoute just happened to be the person who could do all of these things together. He and his team of musicians(his wife, a talented singer included), have brought out what could well be the first affirmation music cd ever.

I happened to listen to a sample of his music while searching for affirmation music online.I felt that repeating affirmations could become a mechanical chore, losing its effectiveness, while music can gently ease them into your mind. Soon your mind will be humming the affirmations by itself, surprising even you !And this is exactly what Ken Laderoute's music does.

I have by now made it a habit whenever I am working on my computer or elsewhere to switch on Ken's affirmations music. And I am able to focus easily.All tension melts away.

You can check out the sample on Ken's web site here, at Affirmation Power.

And don't forget to read this fine blog as well.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Catch that ball !

Each moment, life throws us a ball that we can choose to do with whatever we wish: shoot it out of the court, ignore it, or basket it.

It is like being handed a blank cheque every second: you can write out an amount, botch the cheque or tear it up or throw it away- it is up to you.In other words - you create your future each second.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Sticking to a personal development program

While working on our personal transformation, we need to be infinitely patient. As the saying goes, “Be patient with all things, but most of all with you”. Our attitude has to be : I will not hate myself even if I fail a million times or more. I am still lovable and acceptable. I accept myself still, even with all my defects. I am a magnificent being.

We need to repeat this self talk to ourselves as much as we can. For we do not work at improving ourselves because we do not feel good about ourselves. And why ? Because we are not saying the right things to ourselves.

When you make repeated attempts, along with self encouraging and supportive self talk like this, you can notice gradual improvement in your performance, in whatever field that you have chosen.

Writing affirmations is another effective tool, that helps us to keep on track towards our goals.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Befriending your feelings

We live in an era of repressed feelings. We are taught that our feelings are not ok, from child hood, so we are afraid of expressing our feelings freely. The child expresses itself without fear, without reservation; that is why it is attractive.

The first step in asserting your right to be an individual is to be comfortable with your feelings. We need to recognize and accept that it is ok to be angry, that we have a right to be angry. In fact, we need to honor our emotions. I do not remember where I read that, but that is a very important point.

When we learn to accept our feelings as normal, we come to accept our worth as individuals, as unique beings. Unique does not become just another word. We recognize our uniqueness as the uniqueness of a diamond.

When you feel intensely negative feelings building up inside, do not try to stifle them; instead, keep asking yourself: Why do I feel this way? Again and again. It will be useful to write down the question many times. The subconscious may reveal the answer at an appropriate time. But, as you keep questioning yourself without being critical or angry with yourself, you will feel the pressure of the negativity gradually melt away.

This is not a panacea, not a one-time-solution. You have to work at it day after day, may be a minute at a time, or as much as you are comfortable with. It can bring out latent talents you never thought you had, it can transform you into a more peaceful person. When we are comfortable with ourselves, we can be comfortable with others.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

The Gift of Relaxation: Free music

Here's a piece of excellent music by David M.Pierce. It is a rare treat of relaxation music, the instructions are given in a pleasantly soothing voice that gently lulls you into a state of profound care free state. It is ideal for a pre hypno or pre meditation session, or just to sit back and relax ! Relaxation is a precious free gift that you give yourself, as David says. Good Work,David !

You can visit his site at http://www.dpierce.com/trance/hypnomp3.html.

To listen :The audio will start playing as soon as this page is loaded. Click the Pause button. Wait for a few minutes. Then click the Play button.This will allow you to listen without interruption as the music downloads.Enjoy !

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

On the Slow dance

Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round
Or listened to the rain
lapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last.

Do you run through each day on the fly?
When you ask "How are you?"
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done,
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last.

Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow
And in your haste, not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
'Cause you never had time
To call and say "Hi"?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last.
When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away...
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.

David L. Weatherford

This is an afterthought on the poem given above, ”the Slow dance” by David L. Weatherford.
Along with many other things that resemble or follow their own rhythm or nature’s rhythm, are the wisps of smoke wafting up from an incense stick, flowing water in a stream, the gliding eagles, the floating clouds, the willowy palm fronds and the blades of grass that sway with the wind, the frolicking calf, playing children, the breeze that sighs in the woods and caresses us, the rising sun and stars- all these have no set rhythm or pattern to adhere to- hence they are delightful and liberating to watch.
Do they have a goal ? Does'nt seem like they have-yet they convey immense joy to persons who behold them;some of them are also the sources of life to living organisms. What beauty! What are our million and billions worth before these specters?

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Best skill in life to have

The ability to detach and attach at will is one of the best skills to possess.

Imagine you are in a distant city and you have missed the flight back home. You have an important interview scheduled the next day morning in your home town. What would you do? Or rather, could do ?

Most of us would spend the rest of the day fretting and fuming about the impending loss.But suppose we are able to forget about the issue for some time.Like, say you ask a travel agent to book the next available flight. He says, he is not sure, but will try and get back to you.

Now you have a few hours to spend before you get his response.If you are able to switch off the issue from your mind, and focus on something else, you have a rare ability that will benefit you at times of trial.

To spend this time, you went to a restaurant and ordered a hot drink. As you sip it, forget everything else and focus on the drink.Inhaling the aroma, savoring the taste(or distaste)...will lift your mind out of its frantic frets...you will experience a rare form of peace in your heart.

An excellent zen story that illustrates this art of being in the present is that of the monk who lifted the woman across the stream.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Give Yourself Non-critical, Non-judgmental Listening

The title could well be Why do you get angry ? As yet, we do not know really the answer to that, but we can do something about it.

Each of your movements, the varying speed of your breaths, the tension in each part of your body, has significance. It requires you to be aware to realize their presence. For example, we need to be aware of the batting of our eyelids. It is not a grabbing of the events in our mind and body, to be aware of them. It is just letting the attention drift over them. Many events occur in our body-mind complex every second. We possibly cannot be aware of them all, in our present state. But our attention will flit from one of them o the other. Be aware of where your attention is at the moment. It can only be on one thing in a given instance.

If you study body language, you will have some idea of the emotions associated with each part of the body.

Coming back to non-critical listening and its healing power, recall the time when you were with a person who really was non-critical, non-judgmental. It might have been a doctor, and elder, a teacher or a friend. Remember how relaxing and reassuring was their listening. You felt totally accepted.

You can give that listening to yourself. You need to realize the importance of the events in you. Each movement, each breath, each emotion, each tension, each thought…Do not be alarmed if negative emotions surface. Just make a mental note of their presence. A Zen master said: Your feelings, your breath, your movements…are your treasures. You need to be aware of them.
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Want to hire me to write for your blog or online publication? You can find my contact details here: About me
Are You Really Listening?: Keys to Successful CommunicationThe Wisdom of ListeningThe Non-Judgmental Christian: Five Lessons That Will Revolutionize Your RelationshipsJc & Me: A Dialogue on Nonjudgmental LoveLoving Yourself and Others: Discover the Art of Loving Yourself as Who You AreThe Art of Loving Yourself,The Manual for LIVING THE BEST TIME of Your lifeLoving Yourself: Four Steps to a Happier YouLoving Yourself for God's Sake (Spirit Life Series)Learning to Love Yourself: Finding Your Self-WorthThe Nine Rooms of Happiness: Loving Yourself, Finding Your Purpose, and Getting Over Life's Little Imperfections

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